Engaging Scripture

How a church family can disagree but still be harmonious

Is your church family harmonious? How much should a church family agree with one another? Is it okay if there is disagreement in a church family?

Yesterday we began looking at 1 Peter 3:8-12, and I said that Peter is talking to all Christians about how they should interact with one another in their church families. He starts off with five adjectives that should describe us. Today we look at the first one, and tomorrow we’ll see how the remaining four support the first.

Adjective #1. Christians should be harmonious

The word Peter uses for “harmonious” means, “Pertaining to being of the same mind or having the same thoughts as someone else.” So Peter could be translated here as saying, “all should be like-minded”. The dictionary I use says that the word Peter uses is a word picture of “having thoughts that follow the same path.^“^[1]

Harmony is a musical word. To make harmony, not everyone is singing the exact same tune. In fact they are singing different tunes that work together. But we know right away when harmony is poor, right?

Peter is not saying that everyone in a church family must think about everything exactly the same. That would be uniformity. Peter is not suggesting that we need to strive for uniformity in the church. Peter is talking about unity, where we have the same goals, same mission, same heart, but we can still disagree about a great many things, in love.

What are some areas where we can disagree? Politics and matters of ethics are areas where I think it is obvious that people in my Faith Church family disagree. We have Republicans and we have Democrats. We have those who are conservative and those who are moderate and those who are liberal. We have people think that certain behaviors are okay, and people who think those same behaviors are wrong. Those differences are completely normal, and even to be expected.

Though we have differences of opinions about many things, we are to be harmonious.

There are a few things that are non-negotiable, and the rest we can disagree in love. Have you heard the phrase: “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; and in all things, charity.” I find it to be very helpful in providing a framework for how Christians in a church family can be harmonious. Let’s look at all three levels.

In Essentials, Unity

What are the essentials in which we are to practice unity?

Historically, the Apostles’ Creed. This is what Christians everywhere, from the very early days of the church, said out loud together to give voice to what is true Christian teaching:

I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord, Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, Born of the Virgin Mary, Suffered under Pontius Pilate, Was crucified, dead, and buried. He descended into hell; The third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into heaven, And sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty; From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead. I believe in the Holy Ghost; The Holy catholic Church, the Communion of Saints; The Forgiveness of sins; The Resurrection of the body, And the Life everlasting. Amen.

I think it is best to keep as small as possible the theological statements that we feel are absolutely essential to be followers of Jesus. The Creed is perhaps the best foundation.

In Non-Essentials, Liberty

What are some examples of the middle level, the non-essentials? One could be differences in churches’ modes of baptism. Or differences in how we practice communion. These and many other doctrines express differences that distinguish between denominations.

I think the EC Church does a great job of asking its members to commit to a few distinctives rather than a big group. The EC Church has 25 Articles of Faith and a really long statement on Christian Practice. But to be a member of an EC Church, you don’t have to agree with that. I find that very healthy. What do you need to agree to, to become a member of an EC Church? This is what we ask:

The Discipline of the Evangelical Congregational Church outlines the qualifications for membership: (1) Believe in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; (2) Believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God; (3) Be committed to daily Christian growth; (4) Be committed to giving Jesus Christ your time, talent, and treasure; (5) Be supportive of our local church and the ministry of the Evangelical Congregational Church denomination; (6) Be faithful in attendance and participation; and (7) Be baptized as a Christian.

In All Things, Charity

Finally there is the third level, what we would call “in all things, charity” and this is where much disagreement takes place. Should Christians gamble, drink, smoke, swear, watch R-rated movies, wear bikinis, and on and on? When I preached this, I illustrated this part of the sermon with a picture of a gambling table at a casino. I said, “As soon as you see that picture, some of you are thinking, ‘I can’t believe you put that picture there! Gambling is a sin! Are you trying to encourage gambling, Joel?’ And others of you are thinking, ‘There is nothing wrong with having a little fun at a casino on vacation. Geez, the stock market is a worse gamble.’

There is so much we could talk about here. Peter says, be harmonious. Charity means “love.” In all things, charity, means that we absolutely need to love those, especially those in the church family, with whom we disagree. Check out this post (about bikinis!) for further thoughts on how Christians can disagree about ethical issues.

^[1] Louw, Johannes P., and Eugene Albert Nida. Greek-English lexicon of the New Testament: based on semantic domains 1996 : 351. Print.

Why I am not a fan of eulogies (but why they are surprising important for church families)

Photo by Rhodi Alers de Lopez on Unsplash

I am not a fan of eulogies. I’ve told you before that one of the aspects of being a pastor that I was definitely not prepared for was death. It affects me. Some pastors tell me they love funerals, and can’t stand weddings. I’m the exact opposite. I love weddings. Funerals, though? No. I’m just not a fan. Of course I officiate funerals, and I hope I do well. I believe they are a very important event for the family and friends of the deceased. Grieving is important. Thinking about matters of life after death is important. And almost always a funeral includes a eulogy. You know that speech that tells the history of the person who died, praising that person?

I have given numerous eulogies over the years, and many times I don’t like them. It’s not just the fact that we are talking about dead person, which can be depressing. It is that so often in eulogies we straight up tell lies. Most often the family wants you to tell a totally positive story about the deceased, even if everyone knows the deceased had numerous, even glaring faults.

This week as we continue our study through1^st Peter, I was shocked to learn something brand new about eulogies. We’ll be looking at 1 Peter 3:8-12 all week. Read it for yourself.

One phrase I want you to listen for is: if people insult you, eulogize them! What could Peter mean by that? Oh, you don’t see that phrase in there? I promise, it’s there! I’ll show you this week! What’s even more important than finding that phrase is what it means and how we can apply it to our relationships in the church family.

Peter says in Verse 8 “Finally” and by that he means “here is the end of the matter”, or “let me sum up what I am talking about.” For a few weeks now Peter has been talking about many different relationships that Christians experienced in his day. If you want, you can review the posts and you’ll see that Peter talked about the following:

How Christians should relate to governing authorities.
How Christian slaves should relate to their masters…even mean ones.
How husbands and wives should relate to one another.

Peter taught a common principle that Christians should apply to all these relationships: submission. That’s not a very popular idea in our era, but as we saw, Peter was teaching Christians to submit first and foremost to God and the mission of his Kingdom. If you want to learn the specifics of what Peter said about each of those other relationships, feel free to scan back through previous posts.

What we see today in verse 8 is that he is now bringing his thoughts to a close. This week Peter is going to talk about how people in a church family should treat one another. As I said above, he is going to say, “If someone insults you, eulogize ’em.” Next week, Peter changes the focus to how Christians should relate to people outside their church family.

So his “finally”, his concluding remarks will cover the next few weeks. As he goes on in verse 8, notice that he says, “all of you” and begins listing adjectives. He is saying “Church…Christians…every single one of you, let me describe what you should be. Then he lists five adjectives that should define Christian relationships in a church family. What adjectives do you think should define a church family? Tomorrow we’ll look at the first one. And I promise…the surprising thing I learned about eulogy is coming later this week!

The Christian teaching about marriage that was radical (and will certainly enhance your marriage)

Remember your wedding day? (Or maybe you are looking forward to it?) It is an amazing day, filled with crazy, happy, anxiety and joy as you publicly vow to love your spouse for life. The road before you seems clear and straight and free from any surprises or trouble.

But before you know it, five years, or 10 or 20 have gone by and all those feelings you felt on your wedding day seem like a distant impossible memory.

If you are experiencing difficulty in marriage, know that you are quite normal. Not that the difficulty is good. Most times struggle and pain can lead to very good things like growth, maturity, and spiritual depth. (Check out this excellent podcast episode on Youth Culture Matters to learn more about that.) In marriage, when a couple is struggling, it is important to work through the struggle. I am convinced that the earliest Christians were teaching some radical things about marriage in their day. This radical teaching just might be the key to help you solve struggles in your marriage.

All week we have been looking at 1 Peter 3:1-7 where Peter has been talking on the roles that husbands and wives have in marriage. Today we get to verse 7 where Peter says something radical to the husbands. What is this crazy, wild teaching? It starts when Peter says: “In the same way.” In the same way? Huh? How is that radical? Let me try to explain.

“Husbands,” he says, “in the same way…” Whatever he is about to say next, he is couching it alongside what he already said to the wives. He wants the husbands to understand that they need to see a sameness with what he has been teaching their wives. Just as we saw yesterday when we talked about the trajectory of this passage, Peter is once again laying a foundation for equality in marriage. There is to be a sameness between husbands and wives. That alone was unexpected, but he has more surprising things to say to the husbands.

He says, “be considerate with your wives and treat them with respect.”

Husbands treating their wives with consideration and respect is radical. This would have been totally counter-cultural for the Roman Empire in 65AD. In an earlier post this week we noted that it was common in both Jewish and Roman culture for men to see their wives as beneath them, even sometimes to the point of seeing their wives as possessions. Into that patriarchal mindset Peter says, instead, that husbands are to be consider and respectful. It is teaching that husbands need to hear for their spouses still today.

But as you read the passage, you might question what Peter says next. He says, “treat [your wives] with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life…”

I think there is a very valid question we could ask: “Well if Peter is being so radical, why does he call the wives ‘weaker partners’? ‘Weaker’ is so condescending and diminutive. That sounds like Christian teaching that is promoting chauvinism, not setting a trajectory for equality.” Very good question.

We might wince at the word “weaker” in 2018, but you need to understand that “weaker” was assumed by every single male in that audience. That was the prevailing idea. No one would have questioned that. But the words “partner” and “heirs” would have raised eyebrows. The men in the church would have had a really hard time with that, because Peter was clearly putting their wives on the same playing field as the husbands. This is equality language, and therefore Peter was laying the groundwork, a trajectory, that for Christians means marriage can and should be approached with equality.

And notice the final phrase. “So that nothing will hinder your prayers.” That’s powerful. Peter is saying, Husbands, if you don’t treat your wives right, your prayers could be hindered! Wow. You want God to hear your prayer, right? Treat your wives considerately, with respect, as partners and heirs. We in 2018 need to see how dramatically radical this would have been for men, even Christian men, to hear in 65 AD.

So now is the day to decide what kind of husband and what kind of wife you will be.

First and foremost, make the mission of God your priority. If you have an unbelieving spouse, win them without words, but with godly behavior. You might need to stop preaching and start praying. You might need to stop inviting them to church, and start serving them love right in your house.

Second, remember where true beauty is found. Not outwardly, but by placing your hope in God and allowing him to transform your spirit. No matter what you look like on the outside, you are beautiful or handsome or attractive when his fruit of the Spirit flows out of you. Love, Joy Peace Patience Gentleness Kindness and Self-control. These are vital for a healthy marriage. Get the Fruit of the Spirit. Pray for it. Work at it. See help, a mentor, a counselor. At all costs, get the Fruit of the Spirit.

Third, love and respect and practice kindness and consideration to your spouse. Wives to husbands and husbands to wives. Clearly for Peter the issue is not who gets to be the head honcho in the house. The issue is “make the mission of God your priority, and the best way to do that in marriage is to be a loving spouse.”

I started this week talking about Fred Flintstone’s caveman mentality that “a woman’s place is in the home.” You can read that post here. He seems like the classic male chauvinist. But maybe even Fred Flintstone had a change. Take a look:

So whether you are a husband or a wife, be loving, sacrificial, kind and considerate to your spouse!

Why trajectory is vital to understanding the marital submission passage in 1 Peter 3:1-7

Rocket launches have been all the rage recently, with private companies getting in the new space race. I have always been fascinated with space shuttles and astronauts, and thus love watching the blast-offs! A nighttime launch with is fire trail is especially amazing. See the trajectory?

All week long we have been studying a controversial passage of Scripture, 1 Peter 3:1-7. I’m convinced that the concept of trajectory is vital to understanding this passage. Not rocket trajectory, but a missional trajectory. What is missional trajectory? Keep reading and I’ll explain.

In this passage we have seen Peter teaching about marriage roles. Already this week, we have looked at verses 1-6. You might want to read those posts first to see where we are headed…our trajectory! Now as we continue in verse 6, Peter remarks that holy women of old were submissive to their husbands like Sarah, the matriarch of the Old Testament, who apparently even called her husband “master”.

Peter encourages these Christian women living in 65 AD in the Roman Empire to be submissive to their husbands like that. Notice what he says in verse 6. Those women will be like Sarah’s daughters if they do what is right and do not give way to fear. Those are two interesting phrases. Do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Why would he say, “do not give way to fear”? It means that they can trust in God, put their hope in God, and submit. They don’t need to be afraid to submit.

For those of us hearing this with 2018 American ears, it can be very difficult, to hear this passage like those in the Roman Empire in 65 AD would have heard it. Our cultural situation is vastly different. We live in a society where there is a strong movement toward equality. We are not there yet. We still live in a patriarchal culture. But in the last 100 years, our society has moved towards equality. There are loads of jobs where women are paid less than men for the same job, for example. We could go on and on about the many ways that our society is not equal.

But where we have made progress is in the area of marriage. Men, most often, do not look at their wives as property. As animals. Instead men generally look at their wives in a much more equal way. Of course there are still in our culture many different perspectives on the roles husbands and wives should have to maintain a healthy, godly marriage.

There is nothing wrong with having roles in a marriage relationship. In our culture, it used to be that the man worked full-time, fixed the car and house, and did yard work. The wife would stay home, cook and clean, and raise the kids. But nowadays our culture has changed. The man might want to cook, and they both might have jobs, and the wife might be the better mechanic. What Michelle and I say to couples in premarital counseling is that each spouse needs to figure out which roles work for them.

Why? Trajectory. What do I mean by “trajectory”? What I mean is that Jesus and the disciples were putting in motion a new way that had a trajectory. In their day, they had to work within the existing cultural assumptions, but set a trajectory for a new way.

You know the Lord’s Prayer? You know the line where Jesus prays to God asking God that “his will would be done and his Kingdom would come on earth as it is in heaven.” Jesus says that he wants his Kingdom to come on earth now, as it already is in heaven. How is it in now heaven? We read in many places in the New Testament that in God’s eyes men and women are totally equal, and Jesus once said that there is no marriage in heaven. Before God, then, there is no difference between men and women, as we are completely equal in God’s eyes. That equality, therefore, is the goal, the trajectory. This is the same theological argument that is used to stop slavery. In God’s eyes there is neither slave, nor free, and thus because we Christians are committed to ushering in the Kingdom of God now, we pursue a society in which slavery is eradicated. In the same way, in God’s eyes there is neither male nor female, and thus because we Christians are committed to ushering in the Kingdom of God now, we pursue a society in which marriage roles are equal. That is trajectory.

This trajectory has significant practical implications for a healthy marriage. Because husbands and wives are equal, how should we have a healthy marital relationship? In all relationships, and especially in the marriage relationship, we need to practice sacrificial leadership.

Did you ever notice how in most relationships one person thinks they are the sacrificial one? You know how it goes, right? One person thinks they are serving, helping, cleaning, doing so much, while the other person has been lazy, not helping, not communicating, etc.

And what is the other person thinking? At the same time they are thinking that they are the sacrificial one.

When we are talking about sacrificing for one another in marriage, it is crucial to remind spouses not to mistake being sacrificial for taking abuse. Peter is not saying to wives, if you are under a tyrannical husband, you need to continue being abused, as if that would somehow advance the cause of Jesus. No way. If you are being abused, get safe. Same thing, husbands, if you are being abused. Get safe.

Instead the teaching Peter gives, as we will see tomorrow, when he talks with husbands, is one that should eradicate abuse in Christian marriage. For today, we focus on trajectory, seeing the biblical teaching of submission as one that was vital for Christian marriage in the First Century Roman Empire, while at the same time setting a trajectory for mutual submission in the future.

How to be beautiful (and handsome)

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How do we know if someone is beautiful or handsome?

Societies and cultures around the world and through the ages have had different ideas about what is beautiful or handsome. And a society’s standard of beauty can change as time goes by. You can pretty much tell what our current American culture believes about beauty by looking at advertisements. For decades that standard of beauty has felt unachievable for many women, causing emotional shaming and guilt. A recent study suggests that our American standard is changing! That is a good thing.

As we have seen already this week in our posts here and here Peter in 1 Peter 3:1-7 is talking about roles in marriage. In verses 2-6, again talking to Christian wives, Peter brings up beauty standards. In so doing, I believe Peter reveals what true beauty is, no matter what culture or era you live in. So what is true beauty? Let’s see what Peter says.

He starts by saying in verse 2 that Christian wives will be much more likely to “win over” their non-Christian husbands if they live a particular way. By “win over”, he is talking about the process of helping their husbands choose to become followers of Jesus. How should wives live, then, so that they might win over their husbands? Should they preach at them every day? Condemn their husbands for following a different belief system? Withhold sex until the husbands relent and follow Jesus?

Of course not! Peter says their lives should be marked by Purity and Reverence. Be pure. Don’t cheat on them. Stay faithful to your spouse. Be reverent to God. Follow the life principles and actions of Jesus.

And that opens the door for Peter to talk about beauty. It would be very natural for wives to think, “If I want to win my husband over, I’ll need to make my body beautiful.” Peter responds to that in verse 3, and what he says is “Yes, you do need to beautiful! But beauty might be different than you think. It is not ultimately outer beauty that is important but inward beauty.”

Verse 3 is often misinterpreted as Peter banning braiding and jewelry and fancy clothes. That is not what he is saying. He is simply saying that your beauty ultimately doesn’t come from outward adornment.

Peter is here telling us that we Christians have a different standard for beauty.

In verse 4, he calls it unfading beauty. Outer beauty fades, if you abide by the current standard. Older actresses will tell you that. They were once queens of the movie screen, but as they age, they are no longer considered to be desirable because they cannot adhere to a standard of beauty that prizes youth. So what is this unfading beauty that Peter is talking about?

Peter says beauty can be unfading when that beauty flows from within. He calls it “a gentle, quiet spirit that is of great worth in God’s sight.”

In verses 5-6 he illustrates this inward beauty, this gentle quiet spirit, by saying that it is the way women of old put their hope in God and made themselves beautiful. This is a significant point. They put their hope in God rather than in outward adornment. What are your hoping in to make yourself beautiful? You can spend a lot of time and money on skin and hair treatments, exercising hours every day, purchasing new stylish clothing, all striving for a temporary cultural standard of beauty. Peter counters and says, “Place your hope in God.”

Chasing outward beauty is not all wrong. It is good to exercise, to eat healthy, and to dress with style. There is nothing wrong with that. Where the pursuit of outward beauty can go wrong is when we become addicted to it, when we hope and believe that if and only if we achieve a high level of outward beauty then we are actually beautiful. I personally don’t know where to draw the line. But I know this: way too much money can be spent the empty promise that outward beauty will bring you respect and attention from the opposite sex, or from people in general. If you pursue beauty like that you will likely achieve notice, but ultimately it fade, leaving you frustrated and empty inside.

Instead let us believe what Peter says, “Put your hope in God.” When you remember that you are loved in his eyes, you can know that you have everything you need, and you can pursue unfading inner beauty.

The difficulty over the years has been how we interpret what Peter means when he says that wives should express their inner beauty through a gentle quiet spirit. This has been understood that wives should never talk, and it has been used to repress women. But men and women are equal in God’s eyes! Why, then, does Peter say women should have a quiet spirit? Is he adding to the repression of women?

It seems that women in the brand new Christian church were embracing their freedom and equality in Christ, but they were taking it too far for that culture. Theirs was not a culture that viewed men and women as equals. Peter knows this. He knows that if women in a deeply patriarchal culture start upending the cultural norm of women being submissive to their husbands, they will ruin their ability to win their husbands for Christ. Peter knows that they will never be able to create a better, equal situation for women if the husbands are not on board. Instead, it will likely ruin the Christian movement.

In other words, he is asking the women to maintain the cultural norm for the time being so that they might win over as many of their husbands as possible. As we have seen already this week, the mission of the Kingdom of Heaven is Peter’s focus.

So both men and women in our society would do well to see where their true inner beauty comes from. Let us be followers of Jesus that are not deceived by the beauty standards of the world around us. May our beauty flow from within as we practice purity, reverence and place our hope in God.

The surprising reason Peter told wives to submit to their husbands

Do you agree or disagree with Fred Flintstone that a woman’s place is in the home? Check out yesterday’s post for more on that. This week we are studying what Peter says about roles in marriage, as found in 1st Peter 3:1-7. Give it a read.

There you’ll find that Peter says, “Wives, be submissive to your husbands. You are free in Christ, but still submit.” Peter is using the same principle as he did when he taught slaves that they should submit to their masters.

Likewise in Jewish and in Roman society it was expected and commonplace that wives were to submit to their husbands. In some cases the understanding of marriage roles was so severe that wives were considered the property of their husbands. Wives, for example, were expected to conform to the religion of their husbands. They didn’t have a choice. And here come the Christians into that society teaching that in Christ men and women are equal (Galatians 3:28), and that all are free in Christ? To us that equality and freedom is normal. That has been the norm for us for a long time. But in the society of the First Century Roman Empire, Peter’s teaching was radical. More on that to come.

So here is Peter saying to these Christians wives, “Follow the cultural assumption.” But why? He goes to explain himself, “in order that you might win over your husband.” The implication is clear. If you don’t submit, you could seriously damage the possibility that you could help your husband become a follower of Jesus. The cause of Christ, Peter is saying, should be more important than our personal freedoms! Peter is being very wise here. He knows that if the wives rise up and say to their husbands, “I’m free and I am equal with you buddy,” they will be in a very precarious position with their unbelieving husbands who totally disagree with the idea of women’s equality.

Peter is concerned that their husbands will either severely mistreat their wives, or will want nothing to do with those wives. Husbands might divorce them, life will be miserable for the women, and Christians will be seen as people who are crazy. In other words, in that culture, because it was so deeply patriarchal, Christianity needed to work within the patriarchal marriage system in order to survive. Christianity didn’t yet have the stature or influence to change the system.

It is just like missionaries who go into a new culture and work within that culture. There are ways that my sister-in-law, who lives and ministers in Malaysia, dresses differently, for example, than she would in our culture. Her family has to approach the expression of the faith with caution as well. They wouldn’t get a megaphone and go out on the street corners loudly proclaiming that Muslims are repressing women. They have to be more wise than that.

What Peter is teaching, then, is in the same vein as his teaching to slaves. There we saw that he was not saying that slavery is okay. Instead he was teaching Christians who were already slaves to advance the cause of Christ within the culture in which they live. Same thing for married women. He is not saying that the repression of women is okay. Rather he is saying, wives, you can submit or obey your husbands in order to advance the cause of Christ.

Peter and the other apostles had to work within the system, seeking to win as many people as possible, so that the Kingdom of God would advance. The best approach at that moment in time, then, was for the wives to submit to their husbands.

But look at what Peter says next, “Win them over without words.” Additionally he adds the qualifying phrase in verse 1: “if any of them do not believe the word”. This indicates that some Christian women were married to non-Christian husbands. Those unbelieving husbands had heard the message of the good news about Jesus, but they chose not to agree with it.

As Peter continues his teaching through this passage, this unique situation is what he is talking about: how should a person handle their marriage role and responsibility when they are married to a non-Christian spouse? It seems that there were husbands in that society, just like there are husbands and wives in our day, that hear about Jesus and say, “No. I’m not into that.” Once the husband says that, Peter teaches here, it is time for the wife to stop preaching the words. But that doesn’t mean the unbelieving spouse is a lost cause, or that the wife no longer has to submit. Why? Look at what Peter says next.

He says, those unbelieving husbands “may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives!” Actions speak louder than words. This is so instructive to sharing the Gospel. Peter says that there is a place for sharing the words. Peek ahead to verse 15 of chapter 3 where Peter teaches, “Always be prepared to give an answer…But do it with gentleness and respect.” So while the primary purpose of verses 1-6 are to give believing wives with unbelieving husbands some very important instruction about how to win over their unbelieving husbands, there is a principle embedded here that applies to all relationships between those of us who are followers of Jesus and those who are not.

Share the words of the Gospel with gentleness and respect. Win them over without words, but with the right behavior. Words alone will rarely, rarely win people over. Gentle, loving, respectful behavior is vastly important, therefore, for winning people over. And that is what this submission passage is about. Whether slaves to masters, or wives to husbands, Paul wants them to see the mission of God as of utmost importance!

There needs to be balance when it comes to sharing the Gospel. The Gospel is a message that can and should be told with words. “Always be ready” means we should be willing to share the words of the gospel all the time. And the Gospel is a message that can and should be told without words. Peter says, “share the words and yet win them over without words.”

How do we know when the time is right to share the words? Pray about it. Ask God to open a door of opportunity and give you the words, because it can be very scary. Then maybe if face to face is too scary or confrontational, how about writing to them? Make sure it is with gentleness and respect. Tell the story of how Jesus has changed your life.

And that is exactly what he goes on to describe in verses 2-6, again talking to Christian wives, which we will look at tomorrow..

Was Fred Flintstone right that a woman’s place is in the home?

How many of you remember the 1960s era cartoon, The Flintstones? If you haven’t seen it, the cartoon is set in an imaginary cavemen society, except their society has all the amenities of modern society with cars, television, and neighborhoods. The main characters, Fred and Wilma Flintstone, are husband and wife.

In Season 2, Episode 23, “The Happy Household,” Fred and Wilma had gotten into a fight because Wilma came home from a shopping trip, and Fred blamed her for spending more money than he makes. Fred thinks Wilma should get a job. So the next day Fred is surprised when he comes home from his job and Wilma is not there. He is used to Wilma having a big dinner waiting for him. Instead Wilma wrote him a note saying Fred should warm up a frozen dinner. Fred is not happy. He tries to get leftovers from his neighbor Barney, but Barney says there aren’t any. Barney tries to placate Fred by turning on the TV. Does it work? Nope, Fred gets the shock of his married life. Here’s the clip:

Later that evening, Wilma returns, and things blow up. Take a look at the next clip:

I don’t know why the person who posted that YouTube video gave it that title, because Fred never hits Wilma. And yet, the cave man speaks. Did you hear what he said? “A woman’s place is in the home!” Is that just a cave man speaking? Or do we still hear that phrase today?

You might think, “Well, the Flintstones came out over 50 years ago! Society has changed.” Very true. Society has changed. But for many people the questions remain. What are the appropriate roles for husbands and wives in marriage? Does God care? How do we find out?

Around the world we Christians for centuries have had strong feelings about these questions. Christians have been in sharp disputes. It still goes on today.

Think about it. That day you say your marriage vows you begin a new journey with a long road in front on you. How should a husband and wife relate to one another?

What does the Bible say? In our next section of 1^st Peter, chapter 3, verses 1-7, Peter talks about husbands and wives. Check it out and see what you think. Peter says “Wives be submissive to your husbands.” Before we get into Peter’s teaching, the primary question that people ask about these submission passages, is this: Is this passage to be applicable for all time OR is it to be understood as for that time only?

If the passage is to be for all time, then Christian marriage, always, everywhere, forever, should be a relationship of the wife being submissive to the husband. Period. The husband is the leader, the head of the household, the decision maker, and the wife must submit to or obey the husband’s authority!

If Peter only was writing for that time, then Christian marriage roles between a husband and wife could look different. Shared leadership. Equal authority. Or the wife could lead, and the husband could submit.

So how do we know? Christians still today disagree about which interpretation to use. I think Peter has BOTH in mind. I suspect he is thinking both about the Christians in that day, but also laying a foundation for Christians in the future.

Here’s why. Peter seems to be responding to the Christian teaching of freedom in Christ. This teaching was new. He told them that they were free, but asked them not to use their freedom for evil. That’s back in chapter 2 verse 16. There he says, “you are free, but don’t use that freedom as a cover-up for evil. Instead, though you are free in Christ, you are bound to serve God.” That is a massively important mindset. Yes we are free in Christ…free to serve God! That means we first and foremost submit to God and to the mission of his Kingdom.

This week we’ll explore further how freedom in Christ can help us understand what Peter has to say about the role husbands and wives have in marriage. See you tomorrow.

How to submit to God when life is hard

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There was Jesus on the worst night of his life, knowing that horror was just hours away. He is kneeling, praying to God, experiencing human pain and anxiety, wishing like we all do that there might be another way, some escape from suffering. What do you when you don’t want to do what God wants you to do?

You do what Jesus did. That’s what Peter teaches next. What did Jesus do? Let’s find out. Peter’s third and final illustration of the principle “submit to human created authorities, for God’s sake” is found in in verses 21-25 of 1 Peter 2.

He starts by saying: “To this you were called.” Called to what? “Followers of Jesus,” Peter has been declaring through his letter, “you have been saved, you have been reborn into his family. You citizens of a new nation, God’s nation. You are his holy, royal priests. You have a totally new identity and responsibility. To this you were called!”

That means Christians will live in a way that is different. Christians submit to and respect human authorities, even when those authorities mistreat you.

And look at who Peter brings up as the epitome of this. Jesus. That’s what the rest of the chapter is all about. From the rest of verse 21 through verse 25, Peter is glorying in Jesus. He says Jesus is our example, and we should follow in his steps! We can submit our lives for the cause of Christ, because Jesus submitted his life for us. When faced with the darkest day of his life, though he looked for a way out, he still said to God, “Not my will, but yours be done.”

So I urge you, submit yourselves to God first. Make that your daily priority the moment you wake. Pray: “Lord, I submit my life to you today. I want to live every waking moment for your sake, for your cause, for your mission, so that as many people as possible that you bring across my path today, even if I am struggling hard, will be pointed to you by my respectful, loving attitude and actions.”

And then every moment throughout the day, live that kind of life, for God’s sake. Throughout each day, who knows what we will be faced with? Meanness? Unkindness? Difficult situations? How will we react? Will we take up arms and try to maim and injure and hurt back? Will we take to social media and try to destroy? Will we unleash venom from our tongues?

Peter says, “Live good lives. Be respectful.” The way of the world is to erupt and rage and react with vengeance. Peter says that is unbecoming of a follower of Jesus.

Stay focused on Jesus, our example. In the face of intense persecution at his arrest and crucifixion he did not retaliate. Peter was there! He saw how Jesus handled it.

Of all people, Jesus had the right to retaliate and call down fire from heaven. But he did not.

Yes, this is hard teaching to swallow. Is Peter saying that we should just take abuse if we are being abused? No! You have to remember that it was a different cultural situation. Peter was talking to slaves who were Christians. Peter was talking to Christians who were being persecuted. Facing severe bodily mistreatment was a real possibility in their daily lives. Peter wasn’t saying that the abuse was okay or justified. Peter was simply speaking to a situation that was their daily reality.

You and I don’t live in that situation. In our culture, abuse is illegal and wrong, as it should be. We have legal recourse and means to deal with abuse. First, get away from it. Second, take appropriate legal action. But in the midst of our response to abuse, we can still apply the principle: be respectful and considerate for God’s sake.

Make the mission of the God your priority, even when you are being abused.

This passage also applies in many situations in our daily life when, maybe we are not being abused, but we are being overlooked or treated unkind or unfair. And in some cases we try to take appropriate measures to address the situation, politely pointing out to a boss, for example, that we have not received a raise, while others have. What if the boss still denies us the raise? Peter would say, “handle that situation with the cause of Christ as your guide. Be respectful.” Peter isn’t saying, “Stay at that job and be mistreated.” Peter isn’t saying, “Be a doormat for Jesus.” He is saying, “Handle yourself with kindness and gentleness. You represent Christ first and foremost, so represent him well, and it will be especially noticeable how you handle yourself under the pressure of mistreatment. People will notice!”

But how do we know if we Christians should stop respecting and obeying our government? What would we do, for example, if America outlawed evangelism like they did in Nepal last year? What will our Nepalese sister churches do?

I will tell you what we will do, and what our sister churches have already started doing. We’ll do what Peter said to do: “Obey God rather than men.” I pray we never have to make that choice. But there are plenty of places around the world, like Nepal, where this is an issue. That’s why there are underground churches all around this world.

So while we praise God we are living in a country where we are free to worship and to speak our opinions, let’s communicate in respectful, God honoring ways. As Peter reminds us, we Christians are not really free to do as we please. We are, like Jesus, bound to the mission of God. As much as possible, we submit ourselves, we bind ourselves to obey and respect all authority, so that the cause of Christ might advance.

Are you facing a situation where you are being mistreated? How will you respond with respect to that authority, for God’s sake?

How Peter could tell slaves to submit to masters without dignifying the institution of slavery

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Does the Bible condone slavery? The passage we are studying this week, in particular 1 Peter 2:18-20, seems to do just that. As I mentioned in this week’s first post, Christian slave-owners used this passage to support slavery. Imagine being a slave hearing sermons telling you to submit to your master, even when he beats you. Here’s how authors Powery and Sadler describe it:

“The God [slaves] met in these sermons was firmly on the side of their tormentors, opposing their freedom, reifying the status quo. The religion they were offered did not emphasize the love of Christ in response to their choice of will, but the subjugation of their wills as a divine duty to other humans who laid claim to their bodies.” – The Genesis of Liberation, page 1

It is a wonder that Christianity became and remains so prominent among African-Americans. Is there perhaps more to the story? Let’s see what we can uncover.

What we are looking at this week is a key principle Peter taught in 1 Peter 2:13: “submit to created human authority, for the Lord’s sake.” Yesterday’s post examined how Peter applied the principle to government. In the second of three illustrations, today Peter mentions something incredibly hard for us to hear. In 1 Peter 2:18-20, he speaks to Christians who were slaves, and he says “submit to your masters, even to those who are harsh and maybe beat you.” Whew. That is a tough passage. What was Peter thinking?

First of all, slavery in the Greco-Roman Empire had some differences from slavery in our American history. Our slavery was racial. In Peter’s day, it was often not racial. Slaves in the Roman Empire could earn their freedom, become citizens, purchase land, and rise in society. Slavery was very widespread, however, and as Peter indicates, it could be brutal.

From our vantage point in 2018, given what our nation went through and still struggles with, to hear Peter say to a slave in verse 18, “submit,” and in verse 19, “it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering,” we cringe. We want him to say, “Slave, you throw off your chains and be free!”

But Peter doesn’t say that and you can see a Southern slave owner in 1850 pulling out his Bible and proclaiming, “Look, it says right here in 1^st Peter 2 that slaves should respect their masters.” And that’s exactly what those slave-owners did! Their way of interpreting the Bible, and the racism inherent in their interpretation, is a factor that led to our bloody Civil War. Those slave-owners were wrong. They interpreted this passage wrong.

Peter is absolutely not trying to support slavery and beatings. Peter is talking to Christians who were currently slaves, giving them advice on how to handle the difficult situation, from a distinctly Christian perspective.

Peter says to them, “submit.” Why though? Because when they consider the freedom they have in Christ, they will best serve the cause of Christ by being submissive and respectful to the authorities around them. God is the focus once again, as Peter notes in verses 19 and 20. “Be conscious of God,” he says, and “This is commendable before God.” The principle has nothing to do with whether or not slavery is right or wrong. The principle is simply, submit for God’s sake.

Peter is laser-focused on the mission of God. “Christian slaves,” he is saying, “you have a grander mission, the mission of Jesus, to see people become followers of Jesus, and so therefore, you give every part of your life to that mission.”

But maybe that doesn’t help you understand Peter’s heart. Maybe you’re still thinking, “Yeah, but Peter still could have told those slaves that the mission of God also included their freedom from slavery. God wants slaves to be free. And therefore, he should have told them to rise up and rebel.” If you’re thinking that, you’re not alone. There is a significant portion of the my thinking that agrees with you.

But let’s give Peter the benefit of the doubt, that he too likely thought through this. He had already in verse 16 said that they were to live as free men. And yet, Peter knew what would happen if Christian slaves chose to take their freedom from their masters. Think about the slave rebellions in our American past. They generally didn’t go well. They almost always led to increased pain and suffering for slaves.

I suspect Peter was well aware of this and had witnessed this. If the Christian slaves chose to embrace their freedom in Christ and not submit, they would not only face increased beatings, but they would also forfeit just about every opportunity to win their masters for Christ. Peter sees a much improved situation for slaves who are respectful, submit, and through their good lives provide a much greater chance of reaching people for Christ.

But isn’t Peter, then, preserving the institution of slavery? Shouldn’t he still condemn it?

Even though Peter doesn’t condemn the institution of slavery, and in fact, no biblical writer does so, they did however, lay an ingenious groundwork for slavery to be abolished. Biblical theology absolutely supports abolition of slavery and the total equality of all humanity. That discussion goes beyond the scope of this post, but I do think it is important to mention it briefly. The biblical writers talked about racial equality, about freedom in Christ, about how in Christ there is neither slave nor free. But we are all one in Christ. They made a culturally-shocking theological argument against slavery.

As Christians we should passionately pursue abolition. Thankfully slavery is no longer a part of our American situation, but the reality is that there is more slavery, globally-speaking, now than there was during the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. There is much work to be done, and we Christians should be leading the charge for abolition.

Check back in tomorrow as we look at the final illustration Peter uses for how to submit to authority for the Lord’s sake.

Why and how to submit to governing authorities

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Yesterday we looked at Peter’s principle in 1 Peter 2:13a, “Submit to human created authorities, for the Lord’s sake.” As he continues teaching, Peter illustrates this principle three ways:

Illustration #1 – verses 13b-17 – respect and submit to the governing authorities.
Illustration #2 – verses 18-20 – slaves respect and submit to your masters
Illustration #3 – verses 21-25 – Jesus as the ultimate example of submission

Starting with this post, and continuing for two more, we’re going to examine each illustration to see if we can discover why Peter would have mentioned that. What was going on in the life of the church and in the Roman Empire that might have caused Peter to bring this up?

Read 1 Peter 1:13-17 and you’ll find Peter teaching that those Christians need to submit to the government. He mentions the king, which is the supreme authority, and in that day it was the Roman Emperor. In verse 14 he mentions governors, which would have been regional authorities. And finally in verse 17 he says, “show proper respect to everyone.”

Do you remember the king Peter is talking about here? We know exactly who he is referring to when he mentions the king, the supreme authority. It was the Roman Emperor, Nero, who was a bit crazy. He persecuted Christians. Wait a minute. Submit to Nero? I want to say, “Peter, that is ridiculous! You should be telling these Christians to rise up and rebel, not submit! They’re being persecuted.”

When you are being persecuted, life is hard, and certain personalities will just react, and fight back. Perhaps Peter is hearing talk about Christians who are sick and tired of being persecuted, and there are whispers of starting armed conflict. When we read 1 Peter 2:13, I can hear Peter saying “Woah, people time out. I know all about what you’re going through. You do not want to pull out your swords, believe me.” You know why I think this? Remember what happened when Jesus was arrested in the garden?

Travel back in time with me another 30 years. Jesus and his disciples, one of which was Peter, had been traveling around Israel, and Jesus was a rockstar preacher, gaining crowds with thousands of people. Right around the end of his third year as a traveling preacher, things had started to get a bit heated between Jesus and the religious establishment. The people were fans of Jesus but the religious leaders were not. The religious leaders were jealous of Jesus’ popularity, and they hated how Jesus regularly confronted them and they couldn’t win arguments with him. They were eager to take Jesus down.

When Jesus enters the city of Jerusalem for the beginning of Passover week that year, the people want to make Jesus King. They’re ready to start a war. The Jewish religious leaders see their moment. If they can convince the Roman authorities that Jesus is a rebel, they could get Jesus killed. Jesus knows this. He’s not surprised. At the end of the week, after spending a last supper with his disciples, Jesus goes out to the Mount of Olives, just outside the city. He brings the disciples with him, minus Judas who had mysteriously left the dinner early. The disciples also are getting a sense that something is brewing. Jesus has not been quiet about his fate. He’s been telling the disciples straight up for weeks that he is headed to Jerusalem and a confrontation. But the disciples didn’t get what he meant. Jesus was so popular. That night in the Garden, though, suddenly Judas shows up, now a traitor with a kiss, and with armed soldiers to take Jesus captive.

Peter has a moment of clarity. This could be the day of Jesus’ ascension to the throne. Peter whips out his sword, ready to fight! He cuts off the ear of a guy in the group who had come to arrest Jesus. Peter is ready to start a rebellion. Until Jesus rocks Peter’s world. Jesus looks at Peter and says, “My kingdom is not about that. Put your sword away.” Then Jesus heals the ear, allows himself to be arrested and taken away. Peter is utterly shell-shocked. His whole conception of Jesus and the mission of God’s Kingdom is now in shambles. You know what Peter does next? Maybe an hour later? He denies even knowing Jesus. Peter got it wrong.

I suspect 35 years later, Peter is remembering that awful night. He does not want these new Christians to think that the Kingdom of God is advanced by fighting and war. Because it is not!

Peter was writing to Christians about how to handle themselves while living in a nation that did not always treat them kindly. So how should Christians respond to government, even a repressive one? As much as possible, Peter says, they should obey. Submit. Follow the law.

But you might ask, “Should they give up their faith or break God’s laws if the government said so?” No way. Absolutely no. How can I say that? Because Peter also had to deal with that too. A few months after Jesus died, rose and went to heaven, Peter was a changed man. Jesus had brought him back in to the fold, and now Peter understood the mission of God’s Kingdom.

In Acts 4:19 the authorities in Jerusalem arrested Peter and John for preaching Christ, and do you think he denied Jesus then? Nope. He said to them, “Judge for yourselves whether is it right for us to obey you rather than God.” Jesus had given them marching orders to make disciples, preaching the good news of the Kingdom, and the religious leaders were telling them to stop. Then a few months later, they were arrested again. This time Peter says in Acts 5:29, “we must submit to God rather than men.”

So how do we know where to draw the line about when we should submit and when we shouldn’t? Has Peter changed his mind 30 years later? I would submit to you that Peter has not changed his mind.

In Acts 4 and 5 what was happening? These are the first times Christians were persecuted for their faith. The leaders were essentially saying to the Christians, “Give up your faith in Christ.” Peter responds, “No we’re not going to do that. Come what may.” What came was a severe beating, but Peter and the other Christians kept right on preaching Jesus, totally disobeying and not submitting to the religious leaders.

But in 1 Peter 2, 30 years have gone by. Peter is writing to Christians in the Roman Empire who have already been persecuted for their faith. Those Christians didn’t need to hear “obey God rather than men and keep the faith,” because those Christians had already been faced with that choice and they had remained faithful. What those Christians needed was guidance about how to keep the mission of God thriving. Therefore Peter is essentially saying to them, “Don’t rise up, rebel and start a war. As much as possible, follow the rules, live good lives.”

Look at verse 15. He teaches them to do good in the face of ignorance. Don’t go tit for tat. Do good. Silence the ignorant with your goodness. If you are being mistreated, handle it with kindness. When you are good and kind and peaceful in the face of poor treatment, it makes a huge statement. It makes Jesus attractive! That’s powerful! People take notice when you handle mistreatment with grace and kindness.

Then in verse 16 he continues this thought. He says, “You are free,” which means free to disobey government, “but don’t use your freedom for evil!” Christians are not citizens of an earthly country. We are citizens of the Kingdom of heaven, so we could say that we don’t have to follow any rules of an earthly country. We are a holy nation, the people of God. But to that, Peter says, don’t abuse your freedom in Christ. Instead, practice submission to the governing authorities.

He concludes with a very expansive statement in verse 17: show proper respect for everyone. Love the brotherhood of believers, Fear God, Honor the King.

Peter is covering three major groups that Christians should practice respect. First, the church family, which is a repeat from what he said in chapter 1, verse 22. “Love one another deeply from the heart.” Second, fear God, which is a repeat from what he said in chapter 1, verse 17. “Live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.” And third, honor the king, which is a repeat of what he said in chapter 2, verse 13 and 14 which we read today. “Submit to the King and governors.”

Peter is desperate for these Christians to be respectful.

Respect the authorities. That doesn’t mean you need to agree with all the behavior and choices of the authorities. In their day, Nero was a wicked man. Of course they didn’t need to agree with him. But as much as is possible, respect and honor and submit to the King.

It has become something of a test of authentic Christianity to be disrespectful to our leaders on social media. I think Peter would be appalled. So, Christians, respect authorities. Disagree if you disagree, but do so with humility, grace and respect. Too many Christians have damaged the cause of Christ by being out of control with their approach. “Submit yourselves, for the Lord’s sake.” And remember that the Fruit of the Spirit is to be flowing through out: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control.