I’ll never forget the time a member of my church, while standing in the lobby before worship, noticed some visitors had brought sodas into the building with them. This person cut the visitors off at the pass, just in time before they crossed the threshold into the sanctuary, and politely but confidently said, “Here, I will take your drinks and place them in the refrigerator so you can have them after worship.”
Why did they stop people from carrying drinks into our worship service? Was there a “No food or drink” sign on the doors? No, there was not. What would cause someone to intervene like that, and with visitors no less? Was the person who intervened right or wrong? The answer to these questions has everything to do with a reading and misreading of the passage we’re studying this week.
This week, we’re studying 1 Thessalonians 2:1–3:5, noticing the family similes Paul uses to describe his approach to ministry. So far he has talked about how he was like a submissive child and a nursing mother. Now in 1 Thessalonians 2, verses 11–12, Paul writes, “We dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.”
Like a loving father, Paul encouraged the Thessalonian Christians, and he comforted them. Sometimes life is difficult, and people need encouragement and comfort. Maybe you are a natural encourager and comforter. You boost people. Or maybe you have a difficult time with encouragement. It doesn’t come easy for you. You might feel awkward about it. Let me encourage you to step out of that comfort zone and encourage people!
Sometimes, Paul writes, people need urging. The word Paul uses for urging carries a sense of insisting. One scholar I read translates Paul’s words this way: “we insisted on you living the kind of life that pleases God”. (Louw & Nida)
To live life worthy of God is another way of saying that we are disciples of Jesus striving to live the way of our master, Jesus. We learn from him how to live if he were us, and then we live that way. We just might need people insisting that we live that way.
I have to admit that “I insist” sounds demanding of Paul. There is, however, a positive, even generous, way that we use the concept insistence. Imagine you are out for lunch with someone, and they say, “This one’s on me.” My guess is that many of respond, “No, no, I got it.” Then a back and forth debate ensues, as we try to figure out who is going to pay.
Inwardly we might be thinking, “Let’s just each pay for our own bill,” but that can come across like we’re not being generous. So we just keep going back and forth, until finally the other persons says, “I insist.” It can be awkward to know how to respond to their insistence, because part of you might want them to pay. Who doesn’t like a free meal? But you also might want to be the one who pays, because you want to be seen as fair, responsible, generous, capable. So you might say, “No, I insist!” right back to them. When we insist, there is an urgency to it. It’s not a command, but it’s close. It is an urgency rooted in generosity.
Paul, similarly, is insisting that people live a certain way, because it is in their best interest. Yet he knows they might not fully want to live that way. Also, when he insisted that the Thessalonians lived a life that was pleasing to God, that insistence can easily come across as demanding, as forcing, and we Christians tend to emphasize the free will aspect of our faith. How do we insist that people live a life worthy of God, but do so avoiding legalism and demand?
We are called by Jesus to make disciples, and there are loads of places in the Bible that describe the process of disciple-making, part of which includes holding people accountable. Holding people accountable can be a helpful way to graciously, lovingly insist.
Holding people accountable means that we love people enough to speak the truth in love to them. We ask them, “How are you doing living the way of Jesus?” My recommendation is that you don’t do this with anyone and everyone in your life. It is clearly best if the other person first agrees and invites you to that kind of accountable relationship. Furthermore, no one should see themselves as the church morality police who can go around confronting people.
I think of the time that someone in my congregation, right before worship, pulled me aside, concerned that a person in attendance that morning was not dressed appropriately for worship. What did they want me to do about it? Should I tell those people to go home and change and then come back? Or should we set up a worship clothing examination station in the lobby, kind of like TSA at the airport, where we examine everyone as they walk in the building, and if they don’t pass inspection, we send them to a side a room where they have to put on our worship-acceptable outfits that we will offer them?
And by the way, who gets to be the one that decides what clothing is worship appropriate or not? It is personal opinion. Yes, of course, if a person walked into worship stark naked, we would have someone of their same gender pull them aside to a private room to talk with them and scrounge up some clothing for them. But where do we draw the line? What we do if a person, male or female, showed up for worship in extremely revealing clothing? We would treat them with respect and care, trying to follow the example of Jesus.
And that brings me back to the person I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the person who insisted that visitors to our worship service not bring their sodas into the worship service. When I learned about this after worship, I was mortified. The Faith Church person said tome, “But we don’t allow food and drink in worship.” I don’t know where they heard that, but it is certainly not in our church by-laws. Do you think those visitors returned to worship? They did not.
All that to say, it can be difficult to do accountability the right way. But we don’t allow the difficulty to dissuade us from insisting that people live according to the way of Jesus. Even when it is often up for debate what that way of Jesus looks like, like how to dress for worship services or whether food and drink should be in a worship service
Also, accountability runs in both directions. Not only do we need to insist that people follow the way of Jesus, but we need people in our lives insisting that we do the same. Who is insisting that you live the way of Jesus? Do you have a person who speaks the truth in love to you? Or do you think, “I don’t need that?” You need it. We all need it.
It’s why I see a spiritual director. He insists that I live the way of Jesus. It’s why I am usually not excited for my spiritual direction appointments. About 24-48 hours ahead of the appointment, I start thinking of reasons why I need to cancel it. Then during the appointment, I’m regularly trying to steal a glance at the clock, hoping that the appointment is done soon. But after it is done, I am always thankful for the hard questions my spiritual director asks me. He has helped me be a better follower of Jesus.
My spiritual director humbles me. I’m convinced that humility is one of, if not the, most important trait of a disciple of Jesus. Inviting accountability into our lives is an act of humility. We all need to be humbled, and probably on a regular basis, in order to follow the way of Jesus.
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Engaging Scripture 
At our church we have a table of snack foods (pastires & cookies) along with coffee and hot tea urns, so I guess we wouid allow soda in the service too. But the contemporary service meets in the gym and does not have to worry about damage to a carpet or wooden floor. All that to say, it depends on the situation, common sense, and respect. Is Paul saying “Show respect to one another?”