How and what to pray when you have reached a breaking point – 1st Samuel 1:1-2:11, Part 3

Have you ever observed a stranger weeping?  Did you approach them and ask, “Are you okay?”  Typically when someone is weeping, we have sympathy for them.  Maybe even empathy, because most of us know what it feels like to be so distraught that we are weeping bitterly. 

Similarly, in our story this week, 1st Samuel 1:1-2:11, Hannah reaches a breaking point.  Look at verses 9-14, “Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, ‘Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.’  As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, ‘How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.’”

When we observe someone weeping, we don’t accuse them of being unruly.  But that’s what the priest Eli does.  He sees Hannah’s mouth moving without any sounds and assumes she’s drunk. 

Think about what Hannah has been through.  Her rival Peninnah provokes Hannah to the point of despair, causing her to lose her appetite and weep at the dinner table.  Her husband Elkanah says, “Don’t think of it as any big deal because you have me.”  And now Eli assumes she is drunk out of her mind.  Hannah has been dumped on over and over by the people in her life.  How she responds is astounding.

Though emotionally, spiritually and relationally broken, Hannah has just prayed a deeply faithful prayer to God.  She calls God “Lord Almighty.” The word “Lord” is in all capital letters in most English Bibles, signifying that in the original Hebrew this is the personal name of God, “Yahweh.”  When “Almighty” is added to the name of God, it refers to the “Lord of Hosts,” sometimes rendered as “Lord of the Angel Armies,” or figuratively as “the Lord who is Omnipotent,” all powerful, “Almighty.”  This is a way of referring to God as saying, “Lord, I know that with you anything is possible.”  Hannah is saying, “Lord, I’m desperate here.  I so badly want a child, a son.  I know you can do it.”  This is a prayer of faith, trust and hope.  This is a prayer from one who feels unseen and misunderstood by so many around her.  She wants to be seen.

Hannah goes on to ask God to look at her and remember her.  That’s bold.  As if God doesn’t see her and has forgotten her.  She just called him “Almighty”!  Is she being contradictory?  If he is almighty, omnipotent, all powerful, of course he has been seeing her and remembering her all along.  But the problem, for Hannah, and so often for you and me, is that theology sometimes doesn’t seem to apply to what we are going through in our real world.  We know who God is intellectually, but we don’t feel like we are experiencing him in our real world.   

Hannah is desperate to have a child, and nothing is happening.  This cannot be the first time she has prayed asking God for a child.  Year after year, nothing.  Many of you know the feeling of asking God to intervene in your lives for all sorts of reasons, and you faithfully pray, but years go by and all it seems like is radio silence from God.

Hannah prays a painful lament, like we read in the psalms.  The laments are cries of complaint to God.  “Wake up God!  How long are you going to sleep on the job?  You promised you would take care of me, but I am really struggling here, people are against me, mistreating me, and you are nowhere to be seen, heard, smelled, or felt.”  That’s what Hannah is doing, lamenting.  Lament is a viable, biblical, necessary, honest way God wants us to talk with him.  So we can see Hannah as being quite faithful here. (Learn more about lament here.)

Then she takes it to the next level, saying “God if you give me a son, I will give him back to you for his whole life, and no razor will be used on his head.”   

This is a risky vow.  Hannah is relinquishing her role as mother to the child.  If she follows through with the vow, won’t she be right back in the same position of being childless and facing the bullying from Peninnah? (For a description of the bullying, see the previous post here.)  Possibly so, but for Hannah it could be worth it.  At least then she would be able to say, “I do have a son, and I have given him back to serve the Lord.”  Which is something that Peninnah apparently did not do, and that could give Hannah the high road.  Whether Hannah figured all that into her prayer, and vow to God, we don’t know, but it is true. 

Hannah takes it one step further.  She doesn’t just vow to give a child back to God, she says that the child will serve all the days of his life, and never cut his hair.  Why that extra step?   Hannah is referring to a special vow, the Nazirite Vow, described in the Mosaic Law in Numbers 6:1-21.  The word Nazirite is not the same as Jesus’ hometown of Nazareth.  The word in Hebrew “nazir” refers to abstaining.  The Nazirite was abstaining from any grape byproduct, from cutting their hair, approaching dead bodies, even if their own family member died.  But the Nazirite vow was generally temporary.  It was an act showing their dedication to the Lord, usually for a defined limit.  So what Hannah is saying to God is the Nazirite vow on steroids.  She is making it a life commitment for her child.

Thus Hannah responds to Eli’s comment about her being drunk.  Look at verses 15-18.  “‘Not so, my lord,’ Hannah replied, ‘I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.’ Eli answered, ‘Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.’ She said, ‘May your servant find favor in your eyes.’ Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.”

How about Hannah’s phrase in verse 15, “I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.”?  That’s such a great description of prayer.  We reveal our innermost longings, desires, pains, and dreams to God.  We pour them out to him.

Thankfully, Eli gets it, and sends her off in peace with his own stamp of approval on her request.  Hannah leaves with a new feeling in her heart and mind.  She is experiencing the peace that Eli mentioned. 

From there on out, the tone of the story completely changes, as we’ll see in the next post.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

When life is painful, do people make stupid comments to you? – 1st Samuel 1:1-2:11, Part 2

Hannah is in a precarious situation. She can’t bear her husband an heir, and yet her rival wife, Penninah is quite fertile. Hannah’s husband, Elkanah, could kick Hannah to the curb.

What will Elkanah do? In 1st Samuel 1, verses 4-5, we learn that, “Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb.”

Elkanah’s sacrifices provide meat for his family, which was in accord with the Mosaic Law.  But notice his treatment of Hannah.  He could have gotten rid of barren Hannah.  She wasn’t producing an heir.  But no, Elkanah loved her, and he showed it by giving her a double-portion of meat.  He had a special place in his heart for her. Three times per year every year his generosity to her was on full display to his whole family.

But when one family member is shown favoritism, that usually leads to problems, doesn’t it?  Is there a favorite in your family? Look at verses 6-8, “Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah would say to her, ‘Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?’”

Hannah has a double portion of meat right in front of her. It probably smelled amazing, and yet she was sick in her stomach and couldn’t eat it.  Why?  Her rival, the other wife, Peninnah, provoked and irritated Hannah.  What was Peninnah doing to Hannah?  The word here expresses an intensity.  It’s not just frustrating.  It’s deeply frustrating.  Peninnah is actively and consistently bullying Hannah.  You can see why.  Peninnah knows that Elkanah loves Hannah more.  But Peninnah can think to herself, “This is not fair.  I’m the one who is producing sons for this guy.  I’m superior to her.  Yet he loves her?  He gives her the double portion?  I’m the one doing all the work here!  I should get the double portion.”  So Peninnah has a very negative view of Hannah. 

Of course Hannah is weeping.  She can’t help that she can’t produce a baby.  She can’t make it happen.  She also isn’t forcing Elkanah to give her the double portion of meat.  She is emotionally wrecked by the situation.  She has an inner struggle, with her body, so she could be blaming herself.  Her struggle is also from outside her, from Peninnah, so she could rightly be upset at Peninnah. 

Hannah might also be upset at God.  We read “the Lord closed Hannah’s womb.”  Perhaps that’s how the ancient mindset referred to medical situations.  Or maybe there was some awareness of God’s specific involvement here, though we don’t know.  The ancient mindset was far more enchanted than we are.  Meaning, they didn’t have access to the science, the medicine, the technology we have, so they just figured if a person couldn’t have a baby, it was God’s doing.  You and I know that barrenness is a physical condition lots of people have, and it does not necessarily mean God closed their womb. But Hannah is an ancient person, so it was totally normal for her think like an ancient person.  Physically, relationally and spiritually, Hannah is carrying a heavy burden.

Let’s pause a moment.  Are you carrying a heavy burden?  Does Hannah’s story resonate with you?  Physical ailments.  Relational brokenness.  Spiritual dryness.  This is the stuff of life, isn’t it?  My guess is that you have something going on in your life right now that relates to what we have read about Hannah.  Something that makes you frustrated, confused, angry, and weepy.  We question in our minds: Why is this situation going on so long?  Why did it occur? Does God notice me?  We wonder if we are alone.  We wonder if anyone notices

Thankfully, in our story Elkanah notices Hannah.  It really helps when people notice our struggle.  As he notices Hannah, Elkanah makes what he thinks is a powerful argument:  “Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”  That sounds to me like one of those comments that one spouse thinks will be helpful in the moment, but does the opposite. 

Ever said something that you intended to help someone, and it just made things worse?  That’s human relationships for you. 

Elkanah’s comment doesn’t help Hannah.  In fact, the writer gives us no indication that Hannah responds to him.  More than likely what we are reading there in verses 6-8 is not a one-time situation.  It seems like something that happened multiple times. 

Maybe the first time Hannah gets the double-portion of meat, she is embarrassed, but grateful to Elkanah.  Might have appreciated the special attention.  Maybe ate the double portion hungrily.  But as it keeps happening, people take notice.  Maybe Hannah’s embarrassment increases, and she tries to play it off like Elkanah loves them too, and she tries to share the meat with them. 

But it just keeps happening.

Hannah’s embarrassment of special treatment turns to a more desperate feeling.  Soon enough, she doesn’t want the extra meat; she wants to bear a child, and especially a son!  With plate after plate of double portions of meat in front of Hannah, many eyes are on her, Penninah’s especially.  Peninnah makes comments under her breath about how all her children sure could use that extra meat. 

Maybe for a few years, each time the family makes preparations for the trip to Shiloh, Hannah dreads it.  She doesn’t want to go.  It’s so shameful, so hurtful.  She’s deeply despairing, sick to the stomach.  She literally can’t do it again.  But she has no choice, and sure enough, here comes Elkanah with a smile on his face, a big plate of meat in his hands, thinking he is treating her with love.  How can he not see how painful this is for her?  “Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” 

No, no you don’t. 

Hannah reaches a breaking point. 

In the next post, we’ll learn how Hannah responds.

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

The biblical background to 1st Samuel – 1 Samuel 1:1-2:11, Part 1

Today we start a new blog series on the life of the great warrior poet king David of ancient Israel.  We read about David’s life in the books of 1st and 2nd Samuel, 1st Kings briefly, and in the parallel account in most of 1st Chronicles chapters 11-29.  This blog series will primarily follow the account in 1st and 2nd Samuel, which is filled with all the roller coaster drama of an epic miniseries.  I encourage you to take some time and read it for yourselves.  It’s a page turner, seriously gripping and compelling, and altogether human, as people just like you and I wrestle with life, love, family, politics, and spirituality. 

But it will be a few weeks before David enters the story.  We have to work our way through some important material and this week meet the man who gives these two books its traditional name: Samuel. Let’s get started!

In 1 Samuel chapter 1, verse 1 we learn that, “There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite.”

I know.  Lots of names and places in there.  Let’s step back a bit and place this story in biblical history.  In the first book of the Bible, Genesis, we read about creation, the flood, and the origins of the nation of Israel through their forefathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, who was renamed Israel by God.  In the next book Exodus, 400+ years have passed, and now the family of Israel has grown in the nation of Israel, but they have been enslaved in Egypt for centuries (See my Substack for a week-by-week study through the book of Exodus, starting here.).  God miraculously brings the people of Israel out of slavery, enters into covenant with them, leading them back to the promised land of Canaan which is where their forefathers were originally from. 

The books of Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy and Joshua describe the covenant law and Israel’s military conquest of the Promised Land of Canaan.  Next up, however, is a very harsh, tragic book, Judges.  We learn in Judges that the conquest of the land is not complete, and the people cycle through a series of judges, both men and women, raised up by God to lead the people.  This period in the history of the nation is so tragic because they people themselves are quite fickle.  After starting to follow God’s ways, soon enough turn from him, worshiping false gods and idols, and they commit injustice, which leads neighboring nations to war against and persecute the Israelites.  The Israelites cry out to God, and he raises up a judge who delivers them. But the people do not learn from their behavior, and the cycle repeats over and over  In fact, Judges tells a story that grows progressively darker and more gruesome.  The final sentence of Judges says, “In those days, Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.” 

There is a light in the darkness, though.  The next book of the Bible is Ruth, the beautiful story from this time, describing people who are faithful to God.  So not all is lost.  Today, we learn about more faithful people in the book of 1st Samuel.  We’ve already read the first verse.  We met a man named Elkanah, and his immediate ancestors, of which the 4th generation back is Zuph, from the Israelite tribe of Ephraim.  The tribal area of Ephraim is north of Jerusalem, with the smaller tribal area of Benjamin between. 

In verse 2, we learn a vital piece of information about Elkanah.  “He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah.”  

We notice the polygamy, and wonder about it.  Polygamy occurs in the stories of ancient nation of Israel in numerous places, but the original description of marriage in Genesis 2, verse 24, the passage we so often use in weddings to this day, describes God’s intent: “a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

The next sentence in verse 2 is critical, “Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.”

In ancient Israelite culture, as with so many places around the globe throughout human history and still today, a woman was considered only as good as her ability to produce children, and especially to produce a male heir.  If the woman could not produce, it was her fault.  The man would turn his attention to another woman who would produce an heir.  This could become a very precarious situation for the barren woman.  She was not only facing the shame of being barren, but she could be divorced, which could result in her becoming destitute or very, very vulnerable.

Now look at verse 3, “Year after year this man, Elkanah, went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord.”

So Elkanah is a religious man.  He makes the regular trip to Shiloh, the town where the Tabernacle and Ark of Covenant were installed.  The Jews did not have possession of Jerusalem at this time, and there was no temple.  The priests observed the sacrificial system at the Tabernacle, the tent of God, not much bigger than a two-car garage. 

God, in the Mosaic Law, asked all Jewish males to travel to the Tabernacle to worship him three times every year.  Elkanah does so. This doesn’t mean that the women would not go, as we will soon see.  The word worship here in verse 3 is a picture, an action of bowing down.  But is Elkanah just going through the religious motions?  Or does he mean it?  Is he a genuine believer and follower of Yahweh his God?

Photo by Eddie & Carolina Stigson on Unsplash

A Lament for Dark Days – 1 Samuel 1:1-2:11, Preview

“Hello darkness, my old friend.”  

Can you imagine singing that lyric during a worship service?  No?  Me neither.  It’s the start of the Simon & Garfunkel song “The Sound of Silence.”  Great song, but we probably wouldn’t sing it as a praise to God in a worship service.

What about this line:

“Why, O Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me?”  

Not a lyric you’d expect to sing either.  Here’s another one:

“Lord you have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths.”

Grim.  Depressing, isn’t it?  We want our worship songs to cheer us up, give us hope, point us to God.  Not the other way around!  Yet, these are all lines from Psalm 88 (see verse 18 for Simon & Garfunkel’s source material!). The Psalms were ancient Israel’s songbook, and they are sung in many church worship services across the globe still today.  The Psalms include pained laments like Psalm 88. While most of the laments start with anguished complaints, they eventually get around to proclamations of faith in God’s love and power (see Psalm 13 for a classic lament).  But not Psalm 88.  From verse 1 through the darkness of verse 18, Psalm 88 is a nonstop frustrated prayer of despair.  

And I am glad for that.  I am thankful Psalm 88 is in the Bible because life can often feel confusing, complex, irrational, and just as empty as the psalmist describes.  I am thankful that God wants us to bring all our real-world muck to him, even if we don’t get around to the hopeful, trusting, grateful parts of prayer.  In fact, this week on the blog, we’re going to meet someone who prays a prayer that sounds like Psalm 88.  

If you’re struggling with the junk of life, if you’re wondering why God seems like he’s fallen asleep on the job, if you’re desperate, then I believe this person’s prayer will resonate with you.  But really, the prayer, and the theme of the sermon, applies to all of us because we are all human, and that means we all have pain and problems from time to time.  

I look forward to starting this blog series on the Life of David, following the account in the Old Testament books of 1st and 2nd Samuel.  It will be a few weeks until David enters the story, so we first meet the people that provide the background for David.  This week we learn about a woman named Hannah, who as I mentioned above, is walking through her own valley of darkness. 

Photo by Scott Szarapka on Unsplash

God’s call is for everyone – Matthew 21:1-11, Part 4

Editor’s Note: This week at Faith Church we welcomed one of my current students, Molly Stouffer, as guest preacher. Molly is from Hagerstown, MD, studying Pastoral Ministries at Lancaster Bible College. Here is the fourth and final post in her series of posts guest blogging her Palm Sunday sermon!

God’s will calls us into active participation. This ranges from lifelong callings, to everyday actions. 

For some of us, God calls to something specific. From the age of 13, my mother knew God was calling her to be a nurse. God used her in this position to serve. She not only cared for the physical health of her patients, but she could also care for their spiritual health. My mother at one point worked with patients to deliver knees of breast cancer. This job allowed her to be with people who were hurting and confused, and oftentimes, longing for peace. My mother offered to pray with each of these patients, as they heard this news. For myself, I knew I had been called to study pastoral ministry at LBC. 

Some of us believe we need a specific calling to do something significant. I disagree. God has designed us with discernment and self-awareness. We read the Bible, and we know what we act in. We live in the limits, or rather the basis, of Christianity. We act out of love for others, and compassion for sinners. We allow judgment to be in the Lord’s hand. We choose to refrain from inappropriate speech and vulgar living. God does not have to call us to these things; He has provided scripture.

Whether God has called you to something directly, or you’re living alongside scripture, we can walk in His will. His plan is perfect for humanity. And because of the work of the cross, and Jesus’ humble death on the cross, we can enter into life with our Creator. And in this community, we find forgiveness for our sins and choose to turn away and walk alongside God. We can go through life, living in accordance with the scriptures, because that is what God has called us each to do.

How can you walk alongside God today? This week? This season of life? Is this a commandment from scripture? Or is this a calling from God? Whatever it may be for you, let us each start by bringing it to God in prayer.

Photo by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash

How God can transform tragedy – Matthew 21:1-11, Part 3

Editor’s Note: This week at Faith Church we welcomed one of my current students, Molly Stouffer, as guest preacher. Molly is from Hagerstown, MD, studying Pastoral Ministries at Lancaster Bible College. Here is the third in her series of posts guest blogging her Palm Sunday sermon!

Nobody told me that my mother’s survival meant immense pain and suffering for her. Nobody told me that her survival meant the loneliness of not having either parent to come home to. (Read the story of her accident in the previous post.)

My father was too busy caring for her, to fully care for me. My mother was physically deprived for months of her ability to speak or use her hands. Meaning I could not communicate with her in any way. 

My senior year of high school was awful. What was supposed to be a joyous time of endings and beginnings. However, for my family, it was a time of confusion, immense financial debt, and bitter hearts. This was not the plan for senior year. And yet somehow, it was God’s.

Over that year, I began hearing people explain to me how powerful this testimony was. How we could all still lovingly follow God. How I could still desire to enter full-time vocational ministry. God was using this horrific accident, to show people my family’s dedication to serve God.

As my mom began to heal, her life also became a testimony to our family, our church, and our community. God has used her accident for her to share the Gospel with others who were receptive to hearing. To help with her care, my father brings in caregivers while he works during the day. My mom discusses her faith and shares times of Bible study with many of them.

Out of the most horrific day of my life, of my whole family’s life, God used it to make each of us vessels for the gospel. While it was not our plan, it was God’s plan. As my mom begins to walk for the first time since November of 2022, we all continue to share how God uses every moment for good. 

Photo by Rosie Sun on Unsplash

A family tragedy had me questioning God – Matthew 21:1-11, Part 2

Editor’s Note: This week at Faith Church we welcomed one of my current students, Molly Stouffer, as guest preacher. Molly is from Hagerstown, MD, studying Pastoral Ministries at Lancaster Bible College. Here is the second in her series of posts guest blogging her Palm Sunday sermon!

“God please don’t let her die.” 

These were the words I screamed out as I drove to the scene of my mother’s car accident. Just an hour before, I sat with my mom at her job and ate with her. We shared a delicious meal I cooked. My father was in DC for work, and so dinner was on me. I decided to cook and bring it to her at work. After our meal, my mom had to work late to fill out her health insurance for the coming year. In a way, I can only explain as a ‘gut feeling’ that my mother decided to upgrade our healthcare to obtain better coverage.

As it was a cold November evening, I drove her to her car in the staff parking lot. She gathered her stuff from my car, said a quick “love ya” and got in her car. I proceeded to drive home. As I pulled into my driveway I received an anonymous call from a local number. I answer to exchange a dialogue that still haunts me

”Is this Molly Stouffer?”

”Yes”

”Your mother has been in a car accident”

”Is she okay?”

”You just need to come”

”Is she alive?”

”You just need to come”

…and then the woman on the line hung up. As I drove to the scene, I screamed at God to let what I thought needed to happen, well, to happen. I didn’t want my mom to die. I didn’t want to lose her. I couldn’t imagine living life without her.

She was flown to a trauma center in Baltimore Maryland, where due to restrictions, I could not visit because I was 17. My father worked during the day and spent the evenings overnight with her. I spent the holidays bouncing from house to house, sleeping in guest room beds.

I couldn’t see God’s plan for all of this. Tune in tomorrow to hear how God’s plan, amidst this chaos, was better than my own.

Photo by Molly Blackbird on Unsplash

College was not what I expected (…and how that relates to Palm Sunday) – Matthew 21:1-11, Part 1

Editor’s Note: This week at Faith Church we welcomed one of my current students, Molly Stouffer, as guest preacher. Molly is from Hagerstown, MD, studying Pastoral Ministries at Lancaster Bible College. Here is the first in her series of posts guest blogging her Palm Sunday sermon!

When I arrived at Lancaster Bible College, it was nothing like I had imagined. I believed LBC would be a chance to enjoy an independent lifestyle and freedom as a new high school graduate. I believed LBC would be awesome. I imagined making so many friends, struggling with classes, studying late into the night, and having a large group of friends who loved me and did a Bible study with me. I was so excited about these expectations. For years, I long awaited this life.

When I arrived at LBC, it was not this. I struggled to make friends, as the people around me quickly formed friend groups. As classes started, I easily excelled academically and found myself finished with homework by 4 in the afternoon. I didn’t find an on-campus Bible study that I related to. I was let down. 

How I imagined college was so far off. I wrestled with disappointment in the beginning. I faced hardships due to lack of friendship. I faced pushback from students about my major. I felt so alone. I felt so upset. I felt the things I wanted slipping from my hands. How could God let this be the thing I longed for, for so long?

Much like my own disappointment, the Jews were highly disappointed. They were so excited for the arrival of their savior. They knew what they wanted, and when the time came for their Messiah, they missed Him. Matthew 21:11 explains the crowds thought Jesus was a prophet. They missed the mark. 

While Bible college was not what I expected at first, it was exactly what I needed. God had a plan for my life. God had a plan for my college years. God loved me so much, He knew what I needed college to be, despite what I wanted and expected it to be.

Not just in my own life, but for His people, God gave them what they needed. He knew the messiah they needed was Jesus, not a strong military figure to deliver them from the hands of Rome. God loved them so much, to provide a living sacrifice to deliver them from their sins, rather than a military leader to deliver them from oppression. 

As we enter Holy Week, take time to reflect on how Jesus was a part of God’s loving plan to redeem us.

Photo by Uday Mittal on Unsplash

A story of grace

I am part of our church’s Prison Worship Team. Approximately once/month, we hold worship services at Lancaster County Prison. Last evening we led three 35-minutes worship services, and because of the season of Easter, our theme was grace. My part of the worship services was the following story.

In 2011 my family and I had lived in the City of Lancaster for eight years.  Because I am pastor at Faith Church in nearby Conestoga Valley, we felt it would make sense to live in the same community and school district as the church.  So we put our city row home up for sale and started looking for houses in CV.  Eventually we found a house in CV, but our house in the city did not sell.  We decided to rent out the city house. 

To convert the property to rental status, we applied for a rental license with the city. A few weeks later, we got a letter in the mail from the city.  “You owe the City of Lancaster $17,000”. I was shocked.  There had to be a mistake. As I read the letter, I realized there was a mistake, but it wasn’t any of the information in the letter. We truly did owe the city $17,000.

Why did I owe the city that much money?  A few years prior, because my wife and I had young children, we qualified for a city program to remediate lead-based paint throughout the house, which primarily meant replacement of all windows and doors. We also qualified for a city program which would facilitate numerous repairs to bring our home up to code.  Some of the work was done through grants, which we did not have to pay back, but about $25,000 was financed through a home loan from the city, at 0% interest. It is a wonderful program that improved our home significantly.

For years we worked on paying off the loan month to month. I thought that the only stipulation on the loan was that we had to live in the home for one year, and then we could rent it, sell it, etc.  I was wrong.  The city loan agreement stated that if we were no longer the primary resident of the home, meaning if we rented it out, then we had broken the terms of the loan and would have to pay the balance immediately.  That’s exactly what we had done, and now the city was coming to collect the $17,000 we owed on the loan. 

We didn’t have $17,000.  We certainly could have applied for a bank loan, but a bank loan would not be 0% interest.  I decided to write a letter to the city asking for grace.  I explained the situation, and asked if I could just keep paying the mortgage off monthly, as I had been for years.  I sent off the letter, and my wife and I started praying.  I thought the city would respond in one of two ways. Either they would deny our request, or they would require us to start paying interest on the loan.

A few weeks later we got a response.  They did not chose either of the options I expected. The city approved our request, and they gave us grace.  It would have been within their legal right to require us to pay the money, even to take us to court.  We were the ones who broke the terms of the lease.  But the city didn’t sue us.  Instead they gave us grace and let us keep paying off the loan month by month at 0% interest.

Three weeks later, I got another letter in the mail from the city.  This new letter stated, “You owe the city $17,000, and you must pay immediately.”  What?  Did they change their mind?  Did they get rid of their grace?  As I read the new letter, I discovered what happened. 

When our new renters started a water and sewer account with the city, that alerted a different city department that we had broken the terms of the mortgage.  Clearly whomever had originally given us grace had not fully communicated that decision to everyone in the city government.  So what would happen now?  Would that original decision be overturned?  I was very concerned that Department B could overturn Department A’s decision, thus requiring us to pay the balance of the loan.

I decided to write another letter, asking for grace again.  A few weeks later the city response arrived, and it was grace again.  We could keep paying monthly at 0%.  We would not have to come up with $17,000.

If city government employees can be so gracious, how much more is God gracious to us!

Photo by Ryan Mercier on Unsplash

Why following Jesus means stepping out of our comfort zones – Growing in Faith Together, Part 5

In the previous post, I said that in Matthew 28:16-20, Jesus was thinking correctly when he said that he was going to leave his disciples. Why?

First of all, he has given them plenty of opportunities to learn from him over the past three years.  He trained them.  He discipled them.  He pushed them out of the comfort zones multiple times already. They might not feel like it, but they are ready for what comes next because Jesus got them ready.

Second, he points out that he has authority, and by that authority, he gives them a mission: make disciples wherever they go.  They will not flounder, wondering “What do we do now?” after he leaves.  He has given them a specific mission.  They are to make disciples of as many people as possible, teaching the new disciples to obey everything Jesus taught the original disciples.  That’s pretty clear.  Do what Jesus did, follow him, which will take them out of their comfort zone.

Third, he is not leaving them high and dry.  He says he will be with them always.  We know that means he will send his Spirit to be with them, to live in them, to empower them and guide them.  The Spirit arrives, as we read in Acts 2, and fills the disciples. 

So Jesus is pushing the disciples out of the nest, and he is giving them plenty of tools to learn how to fly.  What we see through this study is how to grow in faith together.  Just like the disciples, we step out of our comfort zone together, entering new territory that requires us to trust in God.

I love how I have seen this at work in recent months in the life of my church family. We have started a Church World Service (CWS) Welcome Team, a Lancaster County Prison Worship Team, and through Conestoga Valley SEEDS we host English Language Development (ELD) classes.  The CWS Welcome Team is helping a former refugee family from Congo get settled in Lancaster.  The prison worship team holds worship services in the prison about once per month.  SEEDS ELD classes involve teaching people from all over the world who live in the CV School District, and who have varying levels of English ability. 

Some participants told me that when they first started serving on those teams, they felt way out of their comfort zones. But that was a good thing! Participating on those teams meant they willingly chose to step out of their comfort zone, growing their faith in God together with others.  It felt risky, scary, awkward, uncomfortable, and they sensed they needed God to come through for them. And he did.  

Whenever we interact with new people, we feel this.  When we interact with people who speak other languages, or come from other cultures, or live in a prison, we can feel out of our comfort zone, out of control, and that is a very good thing.  When we are in that place of discomfort, we are in perhaps the best place we can be, a place where we pray “Jesus we are following you into the great unknown, will you please come through for us as we share your love in word and deed together?” 

So how about you?  If you are not already following Jesus out of your comfort zone, what step towards him will you take?  Where he is just might make you feel uncomfortable.  But where is, is the place where we grow in faith together.  Take that step, get connected to people who are stepping out of their comfort zones, growing faith together.

Photo by Loic Leray on Unsplash