Engaging Scripture

The 80% rule about work (school and retirement) – Colossians 3:22-4:1

*Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash*

I once heard that if you are working a job that you enjoy 80% of the time, you’ve hit the employment jackpot. Most people work jobs that don’t get close to that 80% satisfaction level, meaning that they are dissatisfied with their job more than 20% of the time. That might sound frustrating, to think that we so often don’t work jobs that have a higher experience of satisfaction. Shouldn’t we be satisfied with our jobs at least 90% of the time or more? Isn’t that the story we tell our kids? “You can be anything you want to be,” and thus we urge them seek to out and prepare for the career that will bring them joy and fulfillment. That way you won’t ever have to go to work, you will get to go to work; you’ll be looking forward to it, excited and fulfilled.

I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, kids and students, but just about every job has elements that you will dislike, and usually is it more than 20% dissatisfaction. Think about a job sounds awful to you. I think of the dad from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Do you remember his job? He worked in a factory that manufactured toothpaste, and he twisted on the caps of toothpaste tubes. Could you imagine doing that for the rest of your life? I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that kind of work. It has dignity. I am simply saying that it is okay if you don’t like your work.

But that’s a fairly extreme, fictional example. Let me give you a real one. My cousin’s family owns a local fruit distribution company, and I worked their part-time when I was in high school. One of the jobs I did was to grab bags of packaged apples as they came down the assembly line and put them in boxes. I had to lower them gingerly into the box so as not to bruise the apples. When the box was full, you would send it down the line where a taping machine would seal the box and eventually it would get loaded onto pallets for transportation to grocery stores. I worked with my cousin, and I’ll never forget him saying that the apple packing house motivated him to do well in school and college. Why? Because, especially as teenagers, it was very easy to get sick of apples. 30 years later, guess where my cousin works? You guessed it…he works for his family business! But he is not pulling bags of apples off the line and boxing them. He did go to college, get his degree, and now he is in management.

My point is that every job has elements you will dislike, but the passage we are studying this week, Colossians 3:22-4:1, reminds us that we Christians can have a renewed attitude about our jobs, even about the parts we dislike. How so?

The author of this passage, Paul, is writing nothing less than a redefinition of work, of serving, of participating in an organization, of school work, and of retirement. Think about the various reasons that you work. To earn money is obviously the big reason. Yours might be a part-time job while you are a student, and you are trying to earn some spending cash, or maybe save up for a car. Yours might be a job to pay tuition while you are going to college. Yours might be an adult job, your long-term career, where you are providing for your family, paying off debt, saving for the future. Those are all important reasons for work.

But there are other reasons for work, right? Could be that your parents tell you to clean your room or mow the grass. As an adult you work to get benefits like health insurance, to spend time with people, to contribute to society, to keep a business afloat, or best of all, to do something meaningful that you enjoy. Also all very important. I would submit to you that what Paul writes in Colossians 3:22-4:1 supercedes all of these important reasons for work. What Paul writes is this: “Work as unto the Lord.” How do we do that?

I think the 80% rule of work satisfaction, that I mentioned above, can help us Christians have that attitude of working as unto the Lord. I’ll say the 80% rule again. If you have a job that you like 80% of the time, you have hit the employment jackpot. This rule is so helpful because it reminds us that even the best jobs include 20% of the time doing work that is distasteful, frustrating, boring, or difficult. That’s not pessimistic. It is simply trying to be honest.

Frankly, speaking honestly, the 80% rule includes pastors too. I love my job, but not every part of it, and not all the time. Some weeks I sit in my office on Monday or Tuesday and think, “Ok, here we go, time to crank out another sermon.” I can start to doubt and wonder, “Is this all just a waste of time? What does it matter?” Because we all want to use our time in a meaningful way, right? So Christians, Paul reminds us, we work as unto to the Lord.

Think about the 80% rule with me, workers, students and retirees. Are you at 80% satisfaction? 90%. Higher? Or lower? Consider your reality. What Paul writes helps us to think differently about work. Work, Paul writes, is not simply an earthly reality. When we do our work as something that can be done as to the Lord, we view work as worship, and even as ministry. Have you ever thought about your work or school this way? Think about working as worship and ministry can transform your attitude about the parts of your job or school that you dislike!

School…Work…Retirement…Does God care about the places we spend so much time? – Colossians 3:22-4:1, Part 1

School. Work. And retirement. Three phases of life. Which are you in? Maybe a mixture of more than one. Which are you looking forward to? Think about how much time we spend in these three phases of life. At least 13 years in school, maybe more if you go to college and grad school. Then something like 50 years of working. Then maybe another 20-30 years of retirement. That’s a lot of time. That’s a lifetime.

Last week we started a two-part mini-series looking at how Paul makes very practical application of the principle he teaches in Colossians 3:17, “Do all in the name of the Lord Jesus.” In Colossians 3:18-21, starting here, Paul applied this marriage relationships and to parent/child relationships. This week we look at how to apply “do all in the name of the Lord Jesus” in the areas of school, work and retirement.

Turn to Colossians verses 3:22-4:1 and what do you notice at the beginning of verse 22? The word “slaves”! Slaves? If you think to yourself, “Joel, you said we’re going to talk about school, work and retirement. This is a passage about slaves and masters.” You’re right. Sometimes in school and at work you can feel like you are slaving away. But that is nothing like actual slavery. So if this is a passage about slaves and masters, what does it have to do with work, or students in school, or retirees? Stay with me. I think by the end of the this post, you’ll see how it relates to you. Pause this post and read the passage, trying to discover how this passage relates to you. Read Colossians 3:22-4:1.

Before we can see how this passage relates to us, I do need to mention a very important detail. As we have learned in our studies in other New Testaments books, Paul and other writers of the New Testament mention slaves, masters and slavery as if it is no big deal. That first phrase in verse 22 sounds horrible, right? “Slaves obey your masters in everything”? What? Did Paul condone slavery? It sure sounds like it. But, no, he was not saying that slavery is okay and good. Paul is writing to a society that included slavery as commonplace, though it was different from the racialized slavery in our nation’s past. If you want to know more of what Paul has to say about slavery, read the book of Philemon (or my posts on Philemon, starting here). Slavery is always wrong, and Paul makes it clear in Philemon that in Christ the slave becomes the brother. When you take his writings as a whole, Paul clearly says that from a Christian viewpoint, there should not be slavery.

But Paul, as he writes this in the middle of the First Century Roman empire, is faced with a society that included slavery, and he knows that he will not be able to change that culture. So he calls for change in the subculture in where he has a voice, and that subculture is the church. Then through the advance of the church, he hopes to change the culture!

Here in Colossians, Paul is writing to slaves and masters who are Christians. How should they handle themselves in their work? In other words, we can learn from this passage how the phrase, “do all in the name of the Lord Jesus,” applies to our work.

Think about how much time you spend doing some kind of work. 40 hours per week. 45. 50. More? Some of you are part-time. Some are retired. This teaching could also apply to the volunteer organizations in which you are involved. And for you students, this applies to your attitude about school. You spend a lot of time in school and out of school doing homework. Kids, you have chores at home. That is like your work. How should you, a Christian, view all that time spent working?

In verses 3:22-4:1, Paul teaches the principle of working as unto the Lord. Look at verses 22-23, “Work with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.” That means we should work as if God is our boss. We should do our school work as if God is our teacher. We should do our chores as if God is our parent. We should use our retirement years as if God is in charge of them. It doesn’t matter if you are student in school, an athlete on a sports team, an employee on the job, a boss of a company, a teacher, a volunteer on one of our serve teams, or one of the church ministries, work as unto the Lord.

Now are you starting to see how this applies to you?

Important biblical teaching for students, workers and retirees – Colossians 3:22-4:1, Preview

*Photo by Arlington Research on Unsplash*

How do you work at your job in a way that is honoring to God? How about school? What does it look like to be a student that is honoring to God? Or think about retirement? Did you ever think that it matters to God how you retire?

Two weeks ago, in our study through Colossians, we learned, “whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col. 3:17, read the first post in the five-part series here) Last week we looked at how Paul applied that principle to families (starting here). Now this week in Colossians 3:22-4:1, we are going to learn how he applies the principle to work. Students, we’ll also learn how this relates to your academic career. Not a student or a worker? Retirees, the principle will also relate to how you spend your retirement.

Fair warning, if you read the passage, you’ll notice the very first word is “Slaves.” Is Paul is writing to slaves? Yes, he is. And to their masters too. What do slaves and their masters have to do with workers, students and retirees?

Check out Colossians 3:22-4:1 ahead of time, then check back in to the blog on Monday as we talk about it further!

How to be loving parents – Colossians 3:18-21, Part 5

When our second son was in middle school, he wanted to go to a school dance. I don’t remember what our reason was, but we said No. This led to a long drawn out back and forth, highly emotional, discussion between us and our son, in which he was pleading for us to change. Parenting is filled with situations like that, isn’t it?

In yesterday’s post, we learned what Paul wrote in Colossians 3:20, where he taught children to obey their parents. Now look what he writes in verse 21, “Do not provoke your children, so that they become discouraged.” Go back to verses 12-17 (starting here) which we studied last week and put on the clothing of peaceful love, as you interact with your children. Gentle. Kind. Bearing with each other. Forgiving one another. Love them.

Verses 20 and 21 are linked, aren’t they? One of the ways that parents love their kids is by giving their kids boundaries, and holding their kids accountable by punishing their kids if the kids decide to break the boundaries. That’s why Paul says, “Kids, obey.” Because your parents will give you boundaries, rules, and while it will seem strict, it is because they love you and want your best.

As I mentioned already, parents are not perfect. I know that firsthand. Parents, Paul reminds us that we can exasperate our kids. So often, knowing where to draw the line on rules and punishments is incredibly difficult. We can be too strict or inconsistent.

Remember our son’s middle school dance? He is quite the lawyer, and we considered the case he made, changing our minds. I have often thought that while my wife, Michelle, seems so confident about making parental rules and standards and boundaries, as if they are absolutely correct, I am far more uncertain. Parents, it is a tough thing to balance two biblical principles: love covers a multitude of sins, and speak the truth in love. Should you be more gracious, or more strict? Each kid is different, even if they were raised pretty much the same way in the same family. What is clear is that you are not to discourage your kids. How can you discourage them? Many way. It could be by your strictness or your emotional distance or your up and down inconsistent behavior. Therefore, and this is important, if you have discouraged them, go to them and apologize. Likewise, kids, if you have not obeyed your parents, go to them and apologize.

Frankly, though, I think the burden is on the parents. Parents, think about the clothing of peaceful love that we talked about last week. We show that we put on that clothing when we bear with one another and forgive. As the older and likely more mature ones in the family, parents, take the initiative by going to your kids and asking forgiveness.

Husbands and wives, the same goes for you. Reach out in love to one another. Do the work of love, one to the other.

If you need to, go to your family member right now. Literally stop reading this post, and go to one another, confess your sins, ask forgiveness.

How to navigate the teen years (for parents and teens!) – Colossians 3:18-21, Part 4

I was a teenager in the 1990s, wonderful years filled with grunge rock (or for me U2, REM and Public Enemy), Michael Jordan, and Bill Clinton. It seems like just a few years ago, but it was in fact 30 years ago. Those were coming of age years for me. On January 1, 1990 I was in 10th grade. By December 31, 1999, I had gotten my driver’s license, had it revoked, graduated high school, got my driver’s license back after three years of having it suspended, graduated college, got married, got my first full-time job and my wife and I had our first two kids.

Adults reading this, when were some of you teenagers? What decades? What did you experience in those years? Now think about your relationship with your parents. You never have disagreements with your parents when you were a teenager, right? You never got in trouble, I bet.

I did. (And I suspect most of you did too.) I think I was a generally obedient kid, but I had a couple major issues. First, I was a total jerk to my brother. Second, I would mercilessly tease my little sister, though it was literally how I was saying, “I love you” to her. Third, I was a very reckless and speedy driver, and that led to a horrible accident (which is why my driver’s license was suspended), which you can read about here. My point in sharing this is to say that, no matter when you grew up, the teenage years are often a time of major tension between parents and their teens. My parents were and are incredible people, and I always knew they loved me. But I disobeyed my parents, so I should not have been surprised when history repeated itself with my son. I remember many years with our oldest son where I thought for sure we had ruined him, that we had lost him, and we were utter failures as parents. The bickering and fighting at home was just so intense. As it turned out, I was wrong. He became a well-adjusted adult who is just wonderful. Each person, as you and I did, goes through a journey of maturity and leaving the home and growing up and becoming an adult, and that process is usually fraught.

As we continue our study through Colossians, this week on the blog we have been looking at chapter 3, verses 18-21, where Paul is helping people apply his teaching in verse 17: “Do all in the name of the Lord Jesus.” In verses 18-21 he is specifically illustrating how people can apply that teaching in the context of family relationships. In the first three posts this week (here, here and here), we looked at what he had to say in verses 18-19 about husbands and wives. Now in verse 20, Paul writes to the children: “Obey your parents in all things, for this is pleasing in the Lord.”

Kids, if we parents say, “Jump,” you say, “How high?” I’m just kidding! But this is an important passage. My wife, Michelle, and I have been parents for 23 years. We now have two adult children and two in their teens. We are also really looking forward to the grandparent stage. We’ve already picked out our grandparent names. Grammy and Pop-Pop. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Paul is talking to the kids. If any kids read this, I suspect they are likely teenagers, which is why I started talking about those teen years.

Teens reading this, therefore, obey your parents. If you think your parents are off their rocker with strict rules and they have no clue what you’re going through in life, still obey your parents. Of course they don’t know what you’re going through. They are not you, and they are not present with you every minute of every day. So give them grace. I was first born, and so my parents were figuring out parenting on me. Same thing with me and my own first born. Every single stage was new and felt ultra-serious and consequential. I remember when our firstborn came home from school one day, in an early elementary grade like 1^st grade, telling us that his classmates watched Star Wars films. Michelle and I were dumbstruck. How could those parents be so irresponsible allowing their kids to watch movies that were clearly only suitable for older kids? By the time our youngest two were that age, something shifted. Now they were the kids watching the Star Wars movies at the young age. The funny thing is, as our rules and approach definitely softened with the younger ones, you know what the younger ones said? “You guys are the strictest parents of all.”

Kids, let me tell you a secret. We parents often don’t know what we’re doing. We screw up. Sometimes we are too strict. Sometimes we think we have a situation figured out, only to learn a few months or years later that we were wrong. You’ll have this same experience in a few years when you have your own kids. When that day comes, you will love your kids, and you will grind your teeth at night desperate for them to choose wisdom and to choose Jesus, because you know that way of life is so much better than any other way. Yet the other options for life are quite enticing, and you will be afraid that your kids, who you love, will choose less than the best. But you console yourself knowing that you also chose less than the best when you were a teen, and you probably had your parents up at night, a ball of nerves. So be gracious to your parents, kids. Obey them.

Why the ultimate Christian approach to marriage roles is “submit to one another” – Colossians 3:18-21, Part 3

*Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash*

Yesterday I mentioned that have a surprise for you.

This week we have been looking at how to live the Colossians 3:17 principle of “whatever you do, do it all in the name of Jesus,” as it pertains to family relationships. Paul teaches that wives should submit to their husbands and husbands should love their wives. I also mentioned in the second post in the series that Paul repeats and expands this teaching in another letter he wrote around the same time, Ephesians. If you look at Ephesians 5:22-33, you can see it. So what is the surprise?

Look at Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” That’s the surprise. Paul wrote, “Submit to one another”!!! And he wrote that to people in a patriarchal culture! One way to apply “submit to one another” is in marriage. Submission in marriage can be mutual. Both submit to each other! In fact, I hope in this post to explain why I believe “submit to one another” is the ultimate and best Christian approach to marriage roles.

Are you thinking, “Wait a minute. Then why didn’t Paul write that in Colossians?” There are two things I want to say about that. First, these were circular letters. Just as you and I have access to both Ephesians and Colossians so that we can compare the teaching and fill in the gaps, they had access to both as well. Peek ahead to chapter 4, verse 16 to see what I mean. Paul didn’t have to write everything in both letters because he knew the letters were being passed around, and soon enough the people would hear both. There wouldn’t be any doubt that he meant “submit to one another.”

Second, look at Colossians 3:19 again, “Husbands love your wives.” Do you think Paul meant, “Husbands, you love your wives, but wives, you don’t have to love your husbands”? Likewise, could it be that Paul meant that only the wives were to submit, and only the husbands were to love? That’s ridiculous, right? We would never say that. Instead we know that both should love each other. Paul doesn’t have to say “Wives love your husbands,” because it is obvious to all that they should love their husbands. Then why do we say, “Only wives have to submit”? When we do that, we are using an inconsistent approach to interpreting and applying the Bible.

We need to be consistent. We need to incorporate the passage from Ephesians and understand that wives’ submission is in the context of “Submit to one another,“ and both love one another. Both go both ways.

What Paul is writing is actually radical for that culture. Submit to one another? The typical Greco-Roman male would hear that and think, “What madness is this? I only submit to people who are leaders over me. There is no way I’m submitting to my wife.” And yet, clear as day, right there in Ephesians 5:21 we read the principle.

It was also radical for Paul to say to the husbands, “Love your wives, and do not be harsh with them,” because it was absolutely normal in that society for the husbands to treat their wives poorly. Love them? Men would respond, “Why?” The patriarchy of that society could be quite cruel. Paul, then, was teaching something radical for the husbands.

He was also teaching something radical for the wives, but in a different way. They had always lived in a patriarchal culture, so you might think that telling wives to submit to their husbands is simply perpetuating the norm. But remember that these are people who had been hearing a new teaching about a new life in Christ. That teaching was quite different from anything they had heard before. Women were now being told that they are in Christ, that God loves and prizes them, and they are made in the image of God. Those women had been learning that in God’s eyes, in every way that mattered, they were equal to men. After centuries of being downtrodden, you can see women excitedly embracing this new powerful teaching of equality, as they should. Paul knows this, and he wants them to embrace this new teaching, but he is also concerned about what could happen if they do not use wisdom in how they apply the teaching to their lives.

The women could respond, “What do you mean, ‘Submit,’ Paul? You have been teaching that we are equal to men, and we have been downtrodden for so long, and we are just loving this new breath of fresh air. Now you’re going back on your word. You’re contradicting yourself.” It could seem like that. On one hand Paul is saying they are equal, and on the other hand he is telling them to submit. Which one is it, Paul?

I believe Paul is looking at marriage roles from a Kingdom trajectory. In the Kingdom of God men and women are 100% equal right? The Kingdom of God is not patriarchal and it is not matriarchal. It is egalitarian. But Paul knows that the church is young, fragile, easily compromised, and so he has to contain his teaching to the point where it promotes the momentum of the growth of the Kingdom, and doesn’t do damage to the momentum and mission. If Paul teaches something so radically different from the patriarchal culture, the culture will likely react strongly against it, and the church could suffer as a result. Paul knows that he wants a different cultural reality in the future, a Kingdom reality of equality, and so he has to make sure the young church is moving toward that Kingdom reality at the right pace. Paul doesn’t want the church to be known as a cult of wild women who are disrespectful. So he makes sure the women are following the conventional norms of society, that of submitting to their husbands, while at the same time, he is embedding in the theology of the church, a new way. Mutual respect, mutual submission, mutual love. Egalitarianism. Total equality.

2000 years later, we are no longer living in a strict patriarchy. Our culture is much more egalitarian. Therefore I believe that Paul would not need to write verses 18-19 to the Christian church in the USA. I suspect, instead, that he would only write, “Submit to one another. Love one another.”

But don’t you need one person to be the final decision maker in a marriage? I get how that can make life easier in some ways. My wife, Michelle, has traveled quite a bit in the last 12-13 years because of her work in Cambodia. When she is halfway around the world, I am temporarily a solo parent. There are elements of being a solo parent that are easier than the normal, because as the only parent around, I just make decisions and don’t have to communicate or compromise. But there are also significant difficulties to being a solo parent, such as companionship, and the deeper wisdom that comes from the combined personalities, experiences and perspectives of two people. As a result, I have great respect for single parents, as they carry a massive burden, and we in the church family should support them as much as we can.

When Michelle and I do premarital counseling, what we say is that each couple needs to agree together on what roles and decision-making process they are going use. We know people who strongly believe in the male headship role, and that works for them. Most commonly they describe their position as the complementarian position, such that the husband and wife are 100% equal in God’s eyes, but they have different and complementary roles in the relationship. If that is how you want to look at it, and most importantly, if that is how both the husband and wife agree to look at it, then go for it. But if you prefer the egalitarian view, that is okay too. What is not okay, is when the complementarians believe their way is the only right way, or when the egalitarians believe their way is the only right way. Instead, there is room for both views! We’re not in the Kingdom yet. Let us be clear, no matter what approach you use, each spouse should be growing and guided by their love for one another.

Love is active, sacrificial, and nurturing. You might want to review 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, that famous passage about love. It’s not a marriage passage, but it surely relates to how husbands and wives should demonstrate their love for one another.

What approach to marriage roles does God desire? – Colossians 3:18-21, Part 2

*Photo by Tower Paddle Boards on Unsplash*

As we saw in the previous post, Paul wrote that it is fitting to the Lord that Christian wives and Christian husbands, when it comes to roles in marriage, were to practice “wives submit, husbands lead.” In that First-century Greco-Roman culture it just so happened that this dictum was in line with that society’s standards for marriage relationships.

Except that’s not all Paul said. I haven’t mentioned this a whole lot thus far in the Colossians series, but Paul wrote another letter right around the same time he wrote Colossians. If you ever compare Colossians with his letter to the Ephesians, you see passages that are incredibly similar. Keep your finger in Colossians 3, and turn to Ephesians 5:22-6:9. We’re going to flip back and forth between the two.

What do you notice when you compare the two passages? They say the same thing, but Ephesians has more detail. Look at Ephesians 5:22. It’s nearly identical to Colossians 3:18. Now scan ahead to Ephesians 5, verses 23-24. There Paul makes a theological case for why husbands are the heads or leaders of their wives. Just as Jesus is head of the church, Paul writes, the husband is the head of the wife. Through the centuries, biblical scholars and theologians have made a strong argument using this passage that male leadership and female submission is God’s design for all marriages for all times and places.

Clearly, Paul’s description of “wives submit, husbands lead,” and his rationale for those roles in marriage worked well in his culture, because that culture was already practicing those precise roles. Of course, the Greco-Roman patriarchal culture did not practice male leadership and female submission in marriage because they wanted to follow God’s design. That was just the way that culture had developed. Nearly all cultures through history have developed that way. But not all. There have been some matriarchal cultures, but they tend to be far and few between.

How would you describe our contemporary American culture? Are we patriarchal or matriarchal or egalitarian, which is an approach where men and women are equal in every way? Historically, America was patriarchal, but we have moved toward the egalitarian approach. I doubt anyone would say we are entirely egalitarian, but we we have certainly moved in that direction. Think about the iconic 1950s family: the husband goes to work, and the wife stays at home to raise the kids, clean the house, and prepare meals. It seems like a relic from an ancient past. Sure, it is still the case in some families, but less and less.

But Paul is writing to Christians, not to the Greco-Roman culture. That’s an important distinction. He is simply saying that these marriage roles are for Christians. When we look at state of the contemporary American Christian marriage, can we say that our marriages are in line with Paul has written here? “Husbands, lead. Wives, submit.” Or is it okay if we do things differently because our culture is different?

The big question when looking at passages like this one is whether we are to understand them as applicable and binding for all Christians everywhere all the time, or if we are to understand this principle as Paul writing for that church in that time and place.

In other words, should Christians living in a culture that is becoming more and more egalitarian look at Colossians and Ephesians and say, “Well wives, in order to be faithful to the Lord, your husband is your leader, and you submit to him”? It doesn’t matter that this goes against our larger culture, you do it. You are to be different from the culture. There are plenty of things we Christians practice that go against our larger culture. We should be ready and willing to do what God says rather than what our society says. As the apostles in the early church said, “We obey God rather than men.”

But some people look at this passage and disagree, saying that Paul only wrote this because those first century Christians were living in a patriarchal culture. Some people claim that if Paul were writing to our more egalitarian culture, he would have written something like, “Submit to one another.”

I have a surprise for you. Look at Ephesians 5:21. There Paul writes, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Paul DID write, “Submit to one another”!!! And he wrote that to people in a patriarchal culture! Submission in marriage is to be mutual. Both submit to each other! Are you thinking, “Wait a minute. Then why didn’t Paul write that in Colossians?”

Check back in to the next post, and we’ll talk about that further.

Husbands who won’t lead and wives who won’t follow – Colossians 3:18-21, Part 1

When my wife, Michelle, and I were dating, we found a book in the in the library titled Husbands Who Won’t Lead And Wives Who Won’t Follow. The book had a lot of good material in it, but the title alone illustrates that marriage relationships might not work out so smoothly all the time. This week on the blog, I hope we can make some progress discussing that topic and more.

Turn to Colossians 3:18-21. After teaching that we should do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, Paul illustrates this by describing how Christians should live as members of the community of peaceful love in the places where you live, work, study and serve. As I worked on this sermon, initially intending to cover Colossians 3:18-4:1, the sermon got longer and longer and longer. The passage is only nine verses and some of them are really short, but Paul is typical Paul, packing a lot into a small space. So I decided to split this in two. This week on the blog, we’ll study part one, all about marriage and family, and next week will be part two about work. For those of you who are students or retirees, next week will be for you too, because the principles Paul teaches apply to everyone. So today, we’re just covering Colossians 3:18-21, focusing on marriage and family. Go ahead and read those verses and then return to blog post.

Paul dives right in, as he writes in verse 18, “Wives, you all be subject [or submit] to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” This is one of those Bible verses that just sounds antiquated to our contemporary Western ears doesn’t it? Wives submit?

I have heard many times that this is not so antiquated or misogynistic as it might seem, IF the husbands do what Paul writes in verse 19, love their wives. I’ve heard that if the husbands are loving as they are supposed to, then it will be easy for the wives to submit. Almost as if wives who feel loved will be begging to submit.

I don’t know about that.

The word that Paul uses, “submit” or “be subject to,” is defined as “to submit to the orders or directives of someone.” (Louw & Nida) Sounds like a military term, doesn’t it? Paul was describing a situation where husbands had some kind of leadership role over their wives, and the wives were to obey, to submit. Years ago, traditional wedding vows actually had the wife committing to obey her husband! If the husband made a decision, the wife was to follow it. Furthermore, Paul said this arrangement is fitting in the Lord. This gives us the impression that it was God’s will for these marriage roles.

How do you feel about that? Husbands, do you like it? Wives, how do you feel about it? What should a wife do if a husband is about to make what she thinks is an obviously poor decision that will affect her negatively, and it might affect their kids negatively? Just go with it and deal with the pain? Or should she disobey Paul’s teaching when her husband is going to make a poor or hurtful decision?

Christians through the ages have had major disagreements about this, and we still do today. My guess is that there are a variety of viewpoints about this among those who read this blog. So this week we’re going to try to understand what this passage means and how we can apply it to our lives.

First of all, we need to remember that Paul was not originally writing to us. As you have heard me say many times, though originally written to that group of Christians in the first century Roman town of Colosse, we read a letter like this as written to us by extension. What do I mean, “by extension?” I mean that Paul was writing principles that can be applied by extension to all Christians. Therefore, we first need to understand that original situation that motivated Paul to write, to make sure that we understand the principles correctly. Then and only then can we apply the principles to us.

Second, let’s try to first understand how the very first readers of this letter would have understood Paul’s teaching. To do that we need to understand something about the world of the First Century Greco-Roman world. That culture was highly patriarchal, meaning it was a man’s world. It was super rare for a woman to have a position of authority, to own property, or to be seen as equal to a man. Men ruled. In society and in families. When Paul writes, “Wives submit to your husbands,” he was saying what was the commonly held viewpoint of that culture. Basically, he is saying, “Wives, go with the flow.” He also said this was fitting to the Lord that Christian wives and Christian husbands were to follow societal standards for marriage relationships in their culture.

But how does that relate to us? Check back in to the next post, as we’ll continue seeking to understand what Paul meant.

How are you using your 168 hours per week? – Colossians 3:18-21, Preview

How do you spend your time in an average week? There are 168 hours in a week. Let’s tally up how we use those hours. I’m going to list averages, so you can adjust the numbers a bit to align with your life, as we humans have a lot of variety in our use of time. First of all, sleep. We sleep on average 7 hours per night. Add in naps, and that works out to about 50 hours per week. Second, eating. This one is probably all over the place. 21 meals, plus snacks…let’s go with 10 hours per week. Third, personal hygiene. Think bathroom tasks. Probably another 10 hours per week. Fourth, cleaning and chores, another 10. Fifth, school or work. We work about 8 hours per day, five days per week. Or if you are a student, you are in school about that much. That’s another 40 hours. Where’s our total so far? 120 hours. That leaves 48 hours for commuting, volunteering, church, family time and personal time that could include hobbies, exercise, media, etc. How do you spend that remaining 48 hours?

My point in asking us to examine how we use our time each week is that we rarely do this kind of self-evaluation. In other words, are you using your 168 hours the way you want to?

More than likely, you are in a routine, and we allow that routine to guide us week after week, month after month, year after year. When is the last time your evaluated your routines? While there may be needed course corrections in how we spend our time, my guess is that most of us have established routines because those routines are useful to us. Routines are not bad. In fact, we can rely on a routine for decades, and it may serve us quite well. Handled rightly, routine can actually be a very good thing. What we heard last week in our study through Colossians is this, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col. 3:17)

Are your routines in line with “do all in the name of Jesus”? Looking at your 168 hours per week, are you using them in line with “do all in the name of Jesus”?

As we continue our study in Colossians, the writer, Paul explains in more detail just how it is that we do all in the name of Jesus, especially looking at those places where we spend most of our time. At home and at work. Or for students, at school. And for retirees, where you volunteer.

We’re going to look at family this coming week, and then work (or school or volunteering) the next week. Check out Colossians 3:18-21 ahead of time, then I look forward to discussing this further with you on the blog.

4 principles to help us put on the clothing of peaceful love – Colossians 3:12-17, Part 5

As we conclude our study through Colossians 3:12-17, Paul has a very specific application for us, as we love one another. Look at verse 15: let peace rule. We put on the clothing of peace. We are members of one body, and we are called to peace. Then he mentions another piece of clothing: thankfulness. How does a church put on the clothing of peace and thankfulness in their love toward another? Paul gives four principles to help us.

First, in verse 16, we put on the clothing of peaceful love when the word of Christ dwells in us richly, or abundantly. How do we do this? When Paul wrote this, he was talking to people who did not have Bibles. So how did they do this? What “word of Christ” is he talking about? He is talking about teaching in letters like this one we’re studying, Colossians, which would become part of the library that we call the Bible. He is talking about the teaching of Jesus as communicated by Jesus himself and by the other apostles, or from the leaders in a church family. It is the teaching of the Kingdom of God, the teaching of the way of Jesus, how to live like he lived.

But how does that word dwell in us abundantly? Those first Christians couldn’t get out Bibles or apps on phones, so they had to use their minds to remember the teaching, and then think about how to apply that teaching to their lives. It was an intentional effort to think about the word of God and consider how to live it.

You and I have access to the Bible, so we have a wonderful privilege of studying it on our own and together. Read it, ponder it (which is the biblical idea of meditation, which is deep thinking on the teaching of the Bible, so that you can apply it to your life), memorize it, discuss it with others. This should not be a solo practice but a community collaborative practice. This is why small groups are important. In your classes and small groups, each and every one should be discussing how we live out the word of God in our actual lives.

Second Paul says we put on the clothing of peaceful love when we teach and admonish one another with wisdom. This is related to having the word of Christ dwell in us, but now Paul emphasizes teaching and admonishing. In Paul’s day, there was no Bible for people to dwell on, so teaching was the primary way the people were exposed to the word of Christ. Obviously, our situation is very different. We have tons of access to the word of God, to teaching of the word.

That’s why I think it is very important for us to focus on the concept of discipleship when we talk about teaching admonishing. These two ideas involve not just getting biblical content or information in our minds, but having a person and a group of people to help us, to mentor us, to teach us how to live the Kingdom way in our real lives. This is also why participating in regular weekly Christian community is vital. Participation on Sunday mornings and in small groups. We need admonishing. The word, “admonishing,” means, “to advise someone concerning the dangerous consequences of some happening or action.” (Louw & Nida) It is a warning. Paul is saying that when we gather, we open up the truth of our lives to one another, and we hear loving correction and warning from one another. This requires that we are present with one another. While I believe face to face in-person is best, other forms of communication can help. But if asked, we should all be able to list, “Here is who I confess to, this is when I confessed, and this is who confronts me.”

Third, we are put on the clothing of peaceful love when we sing with gratitude! Musical worship is important, I think, because it taps into our emotions in a unique way. Have you ever noticed that about music? It is a powerful force, isn’t it? Singing helps us set our hearts and minds on things above. This is one reason we include musical worship in our worship services each week. But you can do so throughout the week as well. Listen to worship when you drive. In your home, in your office. I use Spotify, and I love listening to music. Lately a lot of Johnny Cash. What a voice, and what a great story-teller. I don’t agree with some of the messages he communicates in his songs, but I find him to be a gritty, realistic inspiration. Compare music with other media. For example, I also love podcasts. But what I have noticed is that there is no end to podcasts, TV shows, movies, articles, books, content. In our world, it is literally impossible to keep up. That means we have to pick and choose what we fill our minds with. Let the word dwell in you abundantly, and sing with gratitude in your hearts.

Fourth, we put on the clothing of peaceful love when whatever we do, we do it in the name of Jesus. When I read this list in verse 16 I was tempted to think that Paul was talking about a worship service. Look at the first three he mentioned already: Bible, preaching, and singing. Three typical elements of a worship service, right?

But then in verse 17, Paul expands our view to all of life. We are not, therefore, to just relegate God or our spiritual lives to a church service, and check it off the list, as if that is all God cares about. Paul says that in whatever we do, whether it is the words we use or the deeds we do, we do it all in the name of Jesus. That’s at home, in front of our screens, at school, at work, on the sports field, in the neighborhood, in our car. Every single place we go. Every single thing we do, we make all of it an act of worship. No matter the time of day or the activity we’re involved in, we seek with our hearts and we focus with our minds the things above.

Are you actively intentionally putting on the clothes of peaceful love? Are there any that you know you need to work on adding to your life? Talk about it with someone. That’s where it starts! Admit what is lacking in life. Confess it to God. Then confess it to others. Repent, which means restoring relationship with God and others. It means a change. It means taking action to restore relationship. What action do you need to take?

You won’t be disappointed, because this set of clothing that God wants to give us is fabulous.