Do you have drama in your family? I’m sure we could all tell stories.
The family member that no one talks to.
The family member that is difficult.
The family member that, when you are together, spends the whole time talking about themselves, and then just as they are about to leave says, “How are you doing?” By that time you are so exhausted from their nonstop stories that you say, “I’m fine. I’m good. Seriously.” And you just want them to leave.
The family member that is asking everyone for money, says that this time they have a clear plan for paying it back, and you know that if you give them money, you cannot see it as a loan, because they will not keep their word.
We all have family drama.
So far I’ve only mentioned the other people in our families. Because it is only the other people that bring the drama, right? Or is it? None of us are ever drama magnets are we? No, can’t be. Except that we can be!
What can be difficult, very difficult, is seeing that we ourselves are sometimes dramatic. It can be very humbling and require loads of self-awareness to admit it publicly. What is worse is when we are drama magnets, and we do not see it, while nearly everyone else in our lives sees us that way.
How can that be? How can someone be so obviously dramatic to just about everyone in their lives, and yet that person does not see it in themselves? My wife says that I am a heavy breather. It does not seem to me that I am a heavy breather. I truly cannot hear it or feel it. My impression of myself is that I am a quiet breather.
So what about you? Are there ways that you are responsible for pumping up the family drama?
We are nearing the end of the Life of David. As we’ve seen, David is no stranger to drama. Much of it has been imposed on him by other people. Sometimes David pumped up the drama by his choices. This week and next, we’re going to learn about drama in David’s life. This week focusing on his family. Next week his friends.
Turn to 2 Samuel chapter 9. In chapter 9, life for David has finally settled down. God has given David victory over his enemies. Yet, peace is sometimes the very thing that leads to drama. Have you ever experienced that in your family, in your marriage? When you have a common enemy, it is amazing how unified you can be in dealing with the enemy. But when the drama from the enemy is dealt with and you are left with each other, what happens? You start fighting with each other. You remember the things that bother you about each other.
Before you didn’t think about those things because you were focused on your common enemy. Now that it’s just the two of you, you start to get bothered again by how the other person breathes too heavy. Or how they chew their food. Or the way they say that one word that makes your spine crawl. In those moments, you might think, “We need a new enemy.” Cynical? Maybe. It’s very real. David’s enemies are vanquished, and that while that sounds like very good news, can a warrior king ever truly settle down? What I’m getting at is that we’re about to see some drama explode in David’s home.
Maybe when he doesn’t have any battles with his enemies, the warrior king will start picking fights at home. Some people just can’t stop themselves from fighting battles or creating battles out of thin air when there were none. How about David? Look at 2 Samuel 9, verse 1,
“David asked, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”
That doesn’t sound like picking a fight, does it? That’s because it’s not. David settles down and remembers the covenant he made with his best friend Jonathan who had passed away in battle years before. I discussed David and King Saul’s son Jonathan’s friendship in the series of posts starting here. In 1 Samuel 20, they made a covenant, and Jonathan said to David this, “Do not ever cut off your kindness from my family—not even when the Lord has cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth.” And also: “Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’”
Even after decades had passed, David remembers his covenant with Jonathan and keeps his word. The warrior king doesn’t want to fight with the descendants of his previous enemy, Saul. He wants to bless Saul’s family, out of love and respect for his best friend who was also Saul’s son, Jonathan. Maybe David isn’t going to pump up the drama after all.
Let’s closely observe David’s actions in 2 Samuel chapter 9. He serves as a wonderful model for how to handle family drama. In tomorrow’s post, we find out what David does.
Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash
Engaging Scripture 