All week long on the blog, I’ve been trying to answer the question: “What I wish I would have known before becoming a pastor.” In this final post in the series, I have a few more responses.
I wasn’t prepared for the Christianity of it all. My life is in large part wrapped up in our church family. Christians, Christians, and more Christians. That’s not wrong. But it sometimes can get too Christiany. It doesn’t help that I’ve also taught classes in exclusively Christian settings at LBC, Messiah or India, which admittedly has been my choice. But when you only have educational degrees and professional experience in pastoral ministry, Bible and theology, you are kinda limited. Years ago I looked into becoming a chaplain in the National Guard, and I was close to doing it. I would have still been full-time pastor at Faith Church, but I would have been part-time with the Guard. I often wonder if I should have done that rather than getting my doctorate. My point is that sometimes pastors can get stuck in a total Christian world. That’s not a good thing.
I wasn’t prepared for the complexity of cultural change. Every local church is a culture unto itself. Any organization has its own culture. That’s normal. What I didn’t realize is how complicated it can be for those cultures to change. In 22 years I have seen Faith Church change. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes joyfully, sometimes in turmoil. I don’t believe I have always led well, or that I have handled change well. It’s very tricky. But I believe that over the last 16 years since I became senior pastor, we have changed for the better, that there is a vibrant health in our church family. I love how people are stepping out of their comfort zone to serve in many ways. I love how we are emphasizing the Fruit of the Spirit. I am grateful to God for that, and for the people’s choice to pursue the Fruit of the Spirit!
I wasn’t prepared for the nonstop struggle with “bigger is better.” While I am very glad that Faith Church has changed in a healthy direction, I recognize that we are smaller than when I started. And I always struggle with the “bigger is better” mentality. That’s another one I didn’t realize about pastoral ministry.
I have not been able to shake the mentality that “bigger is better”. Even though I know that mentality is not founded on Scripture, the idea that “bigger is better” is so deeply entrenched in our culture, even in our Christian mindset, that I can often feel like a failure. Let me give you a recent example.
A few weeks ago, Faith Church held our annual Super Mission Sunday. Our guest speakers were missionaries from our congregation who have been serving in Kenya for 15 years. And people showed up. No doubt there were visitors specifically for the missionaries. No doubt Super Mission Sunday is a draw. And our attendance was high, 95 people. But the primary reason for that attendance is because a large percentage of the 110 or so of us that call Faith Church our home church attended.
The next week? 59. 34 fewer people. I thought about writing the missionaries to say they need to speak every week. I’m joking! But I will admit that I carry emotion about that. I carry self-worth about that. And I have carried that every week for the 16 of my 22 years that I have been senior pastor.
But here’s the truth. Bigger is not necessarily better. I’m preaching to myself. Instead, a healthy church is one that is growing and flowing with the Fruit of the Spirit, making disciples, following the mission of Jesus in our local community. I am thrilled how Faith Church is doing that in so many ways. Helping at CVCCS in their food and clothing bank. Helping with CV SEEDS teaching English and providing meals and childcare. Helping lead worship at the Prison. Helping resettle refugees with Church World Service. I could go on and on.
I also didn’t know how deeply joyful being pastor of Faith Church would be. I’ve been here longer than any other pastor in the church’s history, and part of that is God’s grace and strength, and part of that is the church family’s graciousness and love. Together, seeking God, pursuing his mission in our local community
So what do I wish I’d known before becoming a pastor? So much! And yet pastoral ministry is like most anything. You learn as you go. You change. You grow. Faith Church and my wife and I have done that together. Being a pastor is a privilege, and it is a heartache. It is filled with both joy and sadness. It involves the sacrifice of time, self, finances. It is also receiving the gift of growing, learning, and change.
Michelle and I were young parents of 2 children when we started at Faith Church on October 1, 2002 as youth/associate pastor. The church family has been with us as we had two more children, then many years later added two daughters-in-law, and now two grandchildren. They have walked with us through the ups and downs of life. We thank you, Faith Church.
Photo by Heather Marie
Engaging Scripture 