You good? – Fruit of the Spirit: Goodness, Part 1

“You good?” Have you ever said that to someone?

Maybe a person appears to be coughing or choking, and as they struggle to maintain composure, we say, “You good?”  After they regain composure, they respond, “It’s all good.” 

Or maybe a person has a particularly emotional reaction to a situation, a reaction that we think is inappropriate or overboard, and we say to them, with a bit of sarcasm, “You good?”  What we really mean when we say that is, “You just had a big reaction to that situation, and we’re not sure you’re totally okay.”  We can use the phrase, “You good?” almost in a mocking way. Those phrases are a contemporary slangy way of talking about being okay. 

“Good” is a word we use in many situations, and it has a variety of definitions.  If we are loaning someone money, might ask them if they are truly capable of paying back the loan, and they will say with urgency and emotion, “Seriously, I promise you, I am good for it.”  Good?  What they mean is that they intend to keep their promise.  They are making a commitment that they will pay the money back.  We should trust them.  Maybe they have the money in another account, or maybe they will work to pay off the loan.  Either way, they are good for it.

Often we use the word “good” when we say that a person is good at something.  They are a good soccer player.  They are a good piano player, a good artist, a good cook, a good book, a good businessman.  Or we eat a meal that is delicious and satisfying, and we say, “That was soooooo good!”  We use the adjective “good” in this way for so many things.  What we mean is that the thing we are referring to is of a high quality.  It is good. 

This week we are talking about goodness. But we are not talking about any of the aspects of the word that I have described so far.  What is goodness?

In Galatians 5:22-23 we read the list of qualities called the Fruit of the Spirit.  We have been studying each quality in this list, one quality per week.  Last week we studied kindness, and I mentioned that kindness, goodness and gentleness are very similar.  Next week we’ll study gentleness, and for those of you who are reading the list in your Bible, you might be wondering, “What about faithfulness?  Are we skipping that?”  No, we are not skipping faithfulness.  We’ll get to it in a few weeks.  Because kindness, goodness and gentleness are so similar, we’re studying them one right after the other.  So this week, we turn our attention to goodness.  What is unique about goodness? 

Goodness refers to behavior.  The opposite of good is bad.  So if we want to learn what good behavior looks like, we can first take a look at what it is not.  Good behavior is not bad behavior.  Paul in Galatians 5:19-21 describes bad behavior.  He calls bad behavior, “the acts of the sinful nature.”  Scan through his list of bad behaviors, and familiarize yourself with it.  People who are growing goodness in their lives will stop doing the actions Paul lists. 

Paul did not intend to write a comprehensive list of sinful actions.  He was just illustrating what is actually a rather short list when you think about how many bad things he could have included.  So why did he pick those specific acts? Maybe Paul heard about some wrong actions that were happening in the Christian communities there in the region of Galatia.  I suspect he also included actions in his list that were prevalent in the Greco-Roman Empire, actions that were not in line with God’s heart. The principle is clear: if you are growing goodness, you will prune badness out of your life.  Pruning is an action of removing something.  We use the word pruning mostly in the realm of caring fruit trees.  We want those trees to produce good fruit.  The analogy, as we will see carries over to disciples of Jesus.

What wrong actions do you need to cut out of your life?  Do you have someone in your life who can speak honestly to you about this pruning?  Ask them. 

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Oh my goodness! – Fruit of the Spirit: Goodness, Preview

“Oh my goodness!!!” 

How many of you say that phrase?  Usually we say “oh my goodness” when we feel surprised, disappointed or disgusted.  Why, then, do we not just say “I am surprised,” or “I am disgusted”?  Certainly there are times when we do say, “I am surprise” or “I am disgusted,” but my guess is that there are many more instances when we say, “Oh my goodness!”  We’ve trained ourselves, by habit, so that the words come flying out of our mouths pretty much without thinking about them.  Let’s slow down and think about those words.

I wonder how that combination of words came together.  There are, of course, other versions of the phrase “oh my goodness.”  We sometimes say, “Oh my gosh,” or “Oh geez,” or others.  Perhaps “oh my goodness” was created as a way to avoid what some people consider to be taking the Lord’s name in vain, “Oh my God.”  It could be that the first time “Oh my God” was used, it was done by a person who was praying.  Maybe they were so shocked by a situation, they didn’t know what to do except pray, “Oh my God…help!  I need you!”  If so, theirs was a very faithful response to a situation, was it not?  But as is so often the case with religion, some people likely felt offended, accusing “Oh my God”-speakers as taking the name of the Lord in vain, which is one of the 10 Commandments.  Historically, to keep that commandment, Jews were extremely cautious about the use of God’s name.  Even in contemporary Judaism, some will not print the English word, “God”.  They will instead print, “G-d,” as a way of conveying respect to God.

We Christians have not gone that far, but we have squabbled about what it means to take the name of the Lord in vain, which is a concern about not using God’s name flippantly or as a curse or oath. Instead some Christians claim that to honor God, to honor the real relationship we have with him, we shouldn’t use his name or any form of his name in a way that would denigrate that relationship.  At the same time, we also don’t meander into legalism.  We don’t create rules that God didn’t create.  So many just say, “Oh my goodness!”

What does goodness have to do with a phrase expressing surprise?  My guess is that “goodness” was selected as a sanitary replacement word for “God.”  In other words, the people were trying to avoid saying God’s name in vain. They were likely not trying to create a phrase that would help us grow goodness in our lives.  Of course, avoiding saying God’s name in vain is a good thing.  But goodness goes well beyond just following rules, especially man-made rules.  We can follow rules and have very little goodness in our hearts.  The much more important question is this: How can we grow goodness in our lives?

In our continuing series on the Fruit of the Spirit, we are learning to walk in step with the Spirit, which means growing the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives.  We’ve learned about growing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and now this week we’ll study what it means to grow goodness. We get started in the next post.

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How to be kind even when you don’t want to be – Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness, Part 5

Kindness can get a bad rap.  Some people who are extraordinarily kind can come across as fake.  We tend to think that there is no way people can be that kind.  We want people to be real.  “I’m just keepin’ it real,” we say, as if it is always good to express ourselves however we want, including with unkindness.  In fact, authenticity in our culture is often assumed to mean that we will so fully express ourselves that we have permission to be negative or hurtful.  When you hurt or feel threatened, our cultural norm says you are authentic when you let it out however you feel.  Shout, curse, manipulate, intimidate.  Do what feels right.  If it is inside us, just let it out, our culture says. 

The problem is that what feels right in those moments is often contrary to kindness.  Kindness sometimes doesn’t feel natural.  How can you be kind when you don’t want to be kind?  How can you wrestle your very negative emotions and thoughts into submission so that what comes out of your mouth and your actions is consistent with kindness? 

For some of us, we have allowed ourselves to get stuck in a rut of expressing ourselves negatively, and we have done so for years.  For some of us, therefore, kindness can seem like an impossibility.  Sometimes the negativity comes out almost, or perhaps totally, without us thinking about it.  It can feel like we have no choice in the matter.  We wonder, doubting, “Can I be kind and still express honestly the pain I am feeling?” 

When it comes to kindness, as with every quality in the Fruit of the Spirit, notice how they are related to that final quality in the list, self-control.  We’re going to talk about self-control more when we get to the end of the list in a few weeks.  For now, know this: we are not robots.  God has created humanity with free will, so that we can have more or less control over our lives.  We can live in such a way that we are controlled by our habits, emotions, and the world around us. But walking in step with the Spirit means that we will practice, we will exercise, we will train our bodies, our minds, our emotions, so that we have more control, so that more kindness flows from our lives. 

When kindness flows from our lives, it brings healing.  Consider the wisdom of the Proverbs: in Proverbs: 12:25, “an anxious heart weighs a person down, but a kind word cheers him up;” 14:21, “The one who despises his neighbor sins, blessed is the one who is kind to the needy;” 14:31, “The one who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy, hears God.”  Kindness really can transform us and the world around us.  We Christians, then, are people who grow kindness. 

Growing kindness means cultivating a relationship with the Spirit. We are not alone in the work of becoming kind.  We have the Spirit living inside us, and we can grow our relationship with the Spirit so that he helps us express ourselves with kindness. The Spirit can help us choose kindness specially in those moments when we don’t feel kind, when we don’t want to be kind, including those seemingly automatic reactions that we think we’ll never get under control. 

I have appreciated the work of The Kindness 101 Team on CBS News.  Check it out, as they feature stories of people that are practicing kindness.  Talk with people who demonstrate kindness.  Ask them about it. Are there ways they think, talk and act that you can learn from? 

Kindness can heal, kindness can disarm an intense conversation, kindness can bring warring factions together.  Kindness is like a superpower, some people have observed.  It does not mean you aren’t honest about your pain.  But, it is a way to express pain and struggle that then enables it to be heard, understood and healed. 

In what ways do you need to work on kindness? 

First of all, do you need to confess to God and to people that you have been unkind?  Do you need to work toward healing a relationship that you have broken because of your unkindness? If so, do so.

Second, do you need to work toward growing kindness in your life?  Do you need to set an alarm on your phone to go off regularly and pause and pray for help to get rid of anger, hatred, rage and to replace it with kindness?  Do you need to ask someone to check in on how you are doing with this on a regular basis?  Who in your life do you see as someone who is kind?  Spend time with them!  Learn from them.  What are there patterns and habits?  Read through the gospels and watch The Chosen.  Observe how Jesus interacted with people who were frustrating or different from him. 

Then be kind like he was kind.

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What to do when kindness doesn’t work – Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness, Part 4

This week we are studying kindness, so let’s go back to our definition of kindness. Kindness is “to provide something beneficial for someone as an act of kindness.”[1]

My college, Lancaster Bible College, has an annual mission conference.  During the years Michelle and I were students, the mid 1990s, one feature of the mission conference was a session where students would drive all over Lancaster county and city practicing Random Acts of Kindness.  “Random” is perhaps a bad word choice, as it carries the idea of thoughtlessness.  Instead, students were trying to be thoughtful and intentional, hoping that an act of kindness would lead to honoring Jesus and demonstrating his love in the community.  We put coins in parking meters.  Cleaned restaurant bathrooms.  Swept sidewalks.  We’d then give out cards explaining that the acts of kindness were being done because of Jesus’ love and to demonstrate his love.

Notice the flow of thought in that, a flow of thought that is rooted in biblical teaching.  Our kindness reflects God’s kindness.  In Isaiah 54:8 God says to Israel, “with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you.”  Similarly in Isaiah 63:7, the prophet says, “I will tell of the kindnesses of the Lord, the deeds for which he is to be praised, according to all the Lord has done for us—yes, the many good things he has done for the house of Israel, according to his compassion and many kindnesses.”  The prophet wasn’t simply declaring that God is kind.  The prophet was remembering how God demonstrated kindness to Israel over and over and over through the centuries.  He rescued them, kept his promises to them, forgave them, and provided for them.  When Israel was a jerk to God, God was kind to Israel.

God shows us what kindness looks like.  Then he says, “Go and do likewise.”  We are kind because he first was kind.  And, we are benefiting from knowing and living in the kindness he gives. Furthermore, God is love, and we read in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 that “Love is kind.”  We’ve seen in previous weeks in our study of the Fruit of the Spirit how there is a correlation between some of the qualities in the Fruit of the Spirit.  Love is patient, love is kind.  The Fruit of the Spirit is best understood, I believe, as flowing from God’s nature to us, and therefore flowing from us to other people.  We are kind to others because God was kind to us. 

In our interactions with people, then, we Christians should be known for our kindness.  Do those who know you best know you as kind?  Or is your appearance of kindness just a veneer you put on for the outside world?  Is it just politeness? Kindness includes polite, for sure, but it also goes beyond politeness.  We can be polite to the outside world, but not show kindness to the people closest to us.  Consider, for example, the following questions and scenarios. Are we showing kindness to those who are difficult for us?  Kindness when we are confronted.  Kindness when we are upset.  Kindness when we are hurt.  Kindness when we disagree.  Kindness when all we feel like is being unkind.  Controlled by kindness rather than controlled by meanness. Kindness in our tone.  Kindness in our word choice. 

If you are reading all those descriptions of kindness, you might wonder if being kind the way God wants us to be kind is impossible.  On our own it is.  That is why these things are fruit of the Spirit.  We need his help.  We need to be connected to the Spirit, praying, reading the stories in the Bible of who he is and the way he interacted with others. 

When we dig into Scripture, we see that Christians are people who do everything with kindness, even when we are concerned that kindness will be ineffective. 

In 2 Corinthians 6, Paul writes about his perspective on ministry, and he talks about how important it is to pursue kindness, even when it hurts.  In 2 Corinthians 6:3-10, he writes, “We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left;through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.”

Do you see what Paul is saying?  The way of Jesus is the way of kindness at all times, and that means your practice of kindness might not lead to worldly success.  If you study the stories of Paul’s ministry in the historical account in the book of Acts, or if you read his letters, you’ll observe that Paul tried to practice kindness in all circumstances.  I can’t say for sure how well he did with that. There are at least a few stories where he seems to have failed in being kind. But Paul clearly attempted to demonstrate kindness, and it cost him.  Kindness can be costly. Kindness might hurt the one being kind. But it is still the best way of life, by far.

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[1] Ibid, 749.

What do kindness and heaven have to do with one another? – Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness, Part 3

In the previous post, we read Paul’s words in Galatians 5 where he writes that if you are regularly demonstrating hatred, discord, and fits of rage, you will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Is Paul saying that if we are not kind, we cannot go to heaven?

“Paul,” you might say, “I thought you wrote in Ephesians 2:8-9, that it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, not by works, it is the gift of God.  I thought you wrote in Romans 10:9-10 that if we confess with our mount, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in our hearts that God raised him from the dead, we will be saved.  Now you’re saying in Galatians that we will not inherit the Kingdom of God if we are struggling with sin?” 

It can seem like Paul is contradicting himself.  How are we saved?  By believing or by being good?  

Paul is not contradicting himself. Christians are people who believe in Jesus.  A relationship with Jesus starts by believing in him, believing that God raised Jesus from the dead.  But a relationship with Jesus is not just believing an idea in our minds.  A relationship with Jesus is verified as authentic when we allow our beliefs to affect our actions.  This is why Paul also wrote, “Confess Jesus as Lord.”  When we confess him as Lord, we Christians respond to the grace of God in Christ by making different choices, living a different way.  We work to get rid of the acts of the sinful nature.  We do the work to walk in step with the Spirit.  We do these actions of getting rid of the sinful nature and walking in step with the Spirit as acts of gratefulness to God.

Paul’s implication in Galatians 5:19-21 is clear.  If we do not get rid of the acts of the sinful nature from our lives; if we allow hatred, discord and fits of rage to have a hold on our lives, then we should not believe that we will inherit the Kingdom. When he writes about the inheriting the Kingdom, that is language describing experiencing abundant life now and eternal life in heaven.  So evaluate yourself. Are hatred, fits of rage or discord a regular part of your life?  Then you are not experiencing the abundant life Jesus wants for you, and you should not have confidence that you will inherit the Kingdom of God.

If so, what will you do to work to get those things out of your life?  Don’t just simply say, “Well, I’m forgiven.  God loves me.  I believe in him. I’m good. I don’t need to worry,” and then live as though your acts of the sinful nature don’t matter, maybe just continuing to be unkind.  Remember the heart of God in saying these things; he wants what is good for us.  A heart that has rage, hatred and discord as a part of it is not going to be joyful, content, is not in good relational standing with others, which is what God desires for us, to be in good relationships with others. 

Instead, make a point to walk in step with the Spirit and grow kindness in your life.  In the next two weeks we’ll talk about goodness and gentleness.  For the remainder of this week, let’s return to the definition of kindness. And we’ll do that in the next post.

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The antidote to unkindness – Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness, Part 2

In the previous post, I mentioned that unkindness has power. We humans can wield unkindness as a weapon to benefit us. And we often do. Yet, in the process of being unkind, we leave a trail a bodies. What is the antidote to unkindness? As we continue our study through the Fruit of the Spirit, this week we are studying kindness. I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to read that I believe kindness is the antidote to unkindness. But there’s more. In fact there are three qualities in the list of the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 that are very similar. Take a look.

Kindness is “to provide something beneficial for someone as an act of kindness.”[1]

Goodness is “the act of generous giving, with the implication of its relationship to goodness—‘to be generous, generosity’.”[2]

Gentleness is “gentleness of attitude and behavior, in contrast with harshness in one’s dealings with others—‘meekness, mildness’.”[3]

Do you notice how similar the concepts of kindness, goodness and gentleness are? In fact it might seem like these three words are talking about the same thing.  I wondered if I should combine all three into one week.  But I decided against it because, while they are certainly related, they are different enough to warrant a special focus. 

I also think that we should have one sermon on each of these topics because we live in angry, unsettled times.  Think about the political advertisements we just endured for the last month or more.  Candidates willing to trash talk their opponents, including opponents in the same party.  Candidates willing to curse in their commercials. (I don’t believe all curse words are automatically sinful, but I do believe it is in the best interest of society for politicians to maintain a level of decorum that does not include curse words.)

It seems as though the goals civil discourse and civil society are being eroded.  What people believe in increasing measure, as verified by their actions, is that anger, sarcasm, cursing, gossip, confrontation, tearing down, and belittling are the best means we use to get what we want.  Unkindness works.  Unkindness is all around us.

Words like Kindness, Goodness, and Gentleness seem like antiques.  Those words seem to be weak and impotent.  Kindness, Goodness, and Gentleness seem to be the pathway of those who are losers.  Christians, have we bought into the idea that though the Fruit of the Spirit is  the way of Jesus, because it is not the way of the world, we can dispense with the Fruit of the Spirit in the areas of politics, business, and commerce?  I have seen unkindness even in the church, when a person believes that their viewpoint is correct.  Do the ends justify the means, so that we can be unkind if we think it will lead to a good result?

No!  We followers of Jesus grow all the Fruit of the Spirit, the entire package, and we allow that Fruit to flow from the Spirit into every area of our lives.  Remember, Paul said that growing the Fruit of the Spirit involves two things: first, crucifying the acts of the sinful nature, and walking in step with the Spirit.

It’s been a few weeks since we read the verses Paul wrote just before the Fruit of the Spirit, and it is important to remind ourselves of them.  In Galatians 5:19-21, Paul writes,

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

We eliminate those acts of the sinful nature from our lives.  Notice verse 20 includes a few sinful acts that are the opposite of kindness, goodness, and gentleness.  Hatred, discord, fits of rage. 

Because our struggle with these sins is so prevalent, I think we need one week about kindness, one for goodness, and one for gentleness.  We Christians are called to live differently.  We are called to express ourselves differently.  Paul’s warning in verse 21 should cause us to pay attention: if you live like this you will not inherit the kingdom of God.  If you are regularly demonstrating hatred, discord, and fits of rage, Paul says, you will not inherit the Kingdom of God.  Yikes!

What does Paul mean? In the next post we’ll find out.

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[1] Johannes P. Louw and Eugene Albert Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains (New York: United Bible Societies, 1996), 749.

[2] Ibid, 569.

[3] Ibid, 748.

The surprising efficacy of unkindness – Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness, Part 1

My wife recently shared a prayer request in a group text, and one person texted back, “No praying!”  Then a few seconds later the person wrote, “This phone has been killing me lately with autocorrect…that was supposed to be ‘NOW praying’.” 

How many of you have had text messages auto-correct to something crazy? Something unsavory? Something that was maybe the opposite of what you intended? Something unkind?

Our friend didn’t have to text us the explanation. We are so used to typos in text messages, we knew.

Those were unintentional unkind words.  Like our friend did, when you and I send an errant text, we feel embarrassed and quickly send off an apologetic text saying, “Ugh, Auto-correct strikes again…sorry…what I meant was …” 

The reality is that often we intentionally do, say or think unkind things.  And we mean them to be unkind.  Maybe we don’t 100% mean to be unkind. I suspect it is rare that we do sinful things with 100% motivation.  Instead, when we are unkind, we are usually in the middle of an emotional or difficult situation, and our fear, our anger, or our sense of justice is heightened. If we have not cultivated our inner strength enough or are not walking in step with the Spirit enough, we can choose to be unkind.  We can also have patterns of unkindness.  Habits of unkindness.  Almost to the point where it can seem that it comes out of us without thinking. 

But there is another side to unkindness.  Some of us have watched unkindness benefit us. There are people who cower and fall in line in the face of unkindness.  If we use a certain tone, if our posture is aggressive, domineering, or authoritative, certain people are intimidated by us and will do what we say.  If the words we use are harsh or accusatory, there are plenty of people who will bow before us.  Have you learned the dark power of unkindness?

In other words, we can use unkindness to get what we want.  In relationships, in business, on the sports field, and in the church, unkindness can be a method for personal advancement.  We can even spiritualize our unkindness, believing that God has blessed us with a special coercive power, and that he is working through us. When we think like that, we don’t believe that unkindness is wrong.  We usually call it boldness or persuasiveness or committedness or leadership.  And the people who lay broken and hurting in the dust behind us, we declare them to be weak, that they couldn’t handle life or the truth, and thus their pain is not our fault.  We say they just misunderstood us and took things too personal.

We can be deeply unkind.  Followers of Jesus, however, are willing to pursue kindness, even if it slows down our progress, even if it puts us at a disadvantage, even if kindness doesn’t seem to be working. 

We have been studying the Fruit of the Spirit, which we read about in Galatians 5:22-23.  In previous weeks, we’ve talked about how the Spirit grows his fruit in our lives so that we can be in healthy relationships with God and others.  Our God is a relational God, and how we treat one another is incredibly important to Him.  Look at the lengths He went to to be in relationship with us.  We’ve already studied love, joy, peace and patience in relationships.  This week we will study kindness. 

Before we focus on kindness, I want to point out that some of the qualities in the Fruit of the Spirit are very similar.  In the past two weeks we talked about peace and patience.  They are not identical, but they are related.  This week and the following two weeks we are going to learn about kindness, goodness, and gentleness.  These three are also related. 

In the next post, we’ll take a look at their definitions, and I think you’ll see what I mean.

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The frustrating difficulty of kindness – Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness, Preview

“Just be kind!” 

I can’t tell you how many times those three words have been uttered inside my house.  The reason why we have said those words so often over the years is because people in my house are not treating each other with kindness.  Usually this bad behavior is the outflow of sibling rivalry or annoyance. 

Maybe you’ve experienced what I’m talking about.  Perhaps you’ve experienced people treating one another unkindly in other relationships.  Would you believe that husbands and wives can be unkind toward one another?  Or how about neighbors?  Have you ever had an unkind interaction with a neighbor?  Maybe it was a blow-up with a co-worker or boss. 

Some societal observers have noticed that there is an increasing decline of kindness in our culture.  People feel more and more comfortable to express themselves in unkind ways.  It seems that social media has only made it easier and more comfortable for people to be unkind.

Many of us say, “Just be kind!” to our world, thinking that if people were kind to one another, that kindness would solve a lot of problems. People could choose to be far more kind than what is normal, but time and time again people do not choose kindness.

Why would people not embrace kindness?  Why do you and I allow unkind words and actions to flow from our lives?  The answers are complicated, as we wrestle with sin and pain and bad habits, broken relationships, and systemic injustice.

It is quite difficult to be kind sometimes, isn’t it?  How do we grow kindness in our lives? In our continuing series on the Fruit of the Spirit, we are learning to walk in step with the Spirit, which means growing the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives.  We’ve learned about growing love, joy, peace, patience and now this coming week we’ll study what it means to grow kindness. 

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Forgiveness as necessary for patience – Fruit of the Spirit: Patience, Part 5

As we walk in step with the Spirit, we will have the Spirit’s empowerment to live patiently.  That means we will be patient with others.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:14 Paul writes, “[W]e urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” Wait, Paul…everyone?

What Paul is suggesting is not easy.  Some people are exceedingly difficult for us, right?  We might say back to Paul, “Paul, you don’t know _______ like I know them.”

My guess is that we all have our lists of family members, co-workers, and friends with whom we have a hard time being patient.  Maybe they are annoying.  Maybe they are unkind.  Maybe they think they are funny, but we don’t.  Maybe they are know-it-alls.  Maybe they are the people who won’t shut up.  Maybe they are the people who have hurt you, time and time again.

To those people, Jesus teaches us what is perhaps the ultimate tool of patience.   Forgiveness.  Forgiveness is the practice of those who are patient.  Forgiveness is rooted in God’s patience.  Think about the extreme lengths God went to forgive us, through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.  He forgave our sins.  Think about how patient he was with us in his forgiveness of us.  So God says, you who have been forgiven your sins, you now forgive others who sin against you. 

Forgiving patience doesn’t mean that allow people to abuse you.  You may need to set boundaries with them so they don’t perpetuate the hurt. 

But you can still forgive them as God has forgiven you, even if you no longer have a relationship with them. 

Thankfully, in most of our difficult relationships, with most of the people who we have a hard time being patient with, we will not have to cut off the relationship.  But we will have to grow patience with them, and for them.

That is partly why God has given us his Spirit to be with us, to live in us.  Remember Romans 8.  The Spirit helps us in our weakness.  The Spirit intercedes for us, with groans that words cannot express.  God is with us.  Though it seems like God is far away or asleep, we would do well to cultivate the knowledge that the Spirit is living with us.  Think about that.  God in us.  Do you need to dwell on that?  Maybe daily?  God with us.

In the Pause App, the one phrase that is repeated in nearly all of the prayers is “God, heal my union with you.”  I love that because we can feel distant from God.  And yet, God the Spirit is with us.  We have union with God.  That means when life is hard, God is with us.  Jesus said to his disciples that after he left them, a comforter, a counselor, would come to them on his behalf.  That comforter and counselor is the Holy Spirit.  There is a very biblical basis for disciples of Jesus to spend time, lots of time, growing our relationship with the Holy Spirit. 

What do you need to do to grow patience in your life?  Do you need repent of your impatience?  Has your impatience caused you to act in ungodly and inappropriate ways to others?  Do you need to confess your sin to them?  What will you do to walk more in step with the Spirit in the area of patience?

Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash

Growing patience through thankfulness – Fruit of the Spirit: Patience, Part 4

In Colossians 1:11 Paul writes a prayer that includes an important teaching about how to become more patient. Paul prayed that the people would be “strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father.”  Now that’s interesting.  Thankfulness and patience together.  When you are walking in step with the Spirit, you are thankful for the opportunity to be patient.  How does that grab you?  I so often hate being in the situation that is requiring me to be patient. 

In Philippians 4:6-7 Paul writes, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  This verse reminds me that there is a close connection between peace and patience.  When we are in a situation requiring us to practice patience, so often we are not feeling peace.  Paul says, at that moment, “Present your requests to God and be thankful.”  Yes, Paul is suggesting that we pray something like this: “Lord, I am thankful for having to practice patience.” 

What do you do if you’re not thankful?  Be honest.  Tell it to God.  “Lord, I’m struggling right now.  I know I should be thankful in all circumstances, but I’m having a hard time with this situation.  I want to be thankful so that I can experience peace.  I want to be patient the way you are patience.   But I’m not you.  I’m struggling.”  That sounds a lot like lament, doesn’t it? 

When you read the psalms of lament, they are people really struggling with patience.  The psalms of lament say things like, “How long are you going to wait before you rescue me from this horrible situation, Lord?  I’m dying here.  I need you now!  Wake up, Lord!  Why are you sleeping on the job???”  Psalms of lament seem to be the opposite of patience, don’t they? 

They’re not. Psalms of lament are faithful expressions of honest struggle to God.  They are human.  Lament flows from people who are wrestling with the tug-of-war that is pain of life on the one side, and trying to be faithfully patient on the other.

If you are struggling with a situation, godly patience cries out to God in the middle of the situation.  Lament is that cry to the Lord, coming from a faithful place, saying “Lord, I need you.  I want to be patience.  I don’t know that I can keep this up, Lord.  Help!” 

God is not duty-bound to answer our lament they way we believe he should answer.  He might.  It is so awesome when he does.  But he might not.  When God doesn’t answer, and we must keep waiting, that does not make him evil.  It also doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care, or that he is not trustworthy.  Even when we are waiting well beyond how long we think we should be waiting, God may not step in.  We may need to keep struggling as we wait.  Those are the difficult moments when we learn godly patience by having an opportunity to practice godly patience. When we walk in step with the Spirit, we will grow patience. 

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash