Years ago someone was telling me about a conflict they were having with their boss. They had actually had conflicts with a string of bosses. They said it was always the bosses’ fault. During their conflict with their most recent boss, they said, “That’s just the way I am.”
Have you ever said that? Have you ever had someone say that to you?
What do you think is going on in the heart and mind of the person who says “That’s just the way I am”?
This week we have been studying 1 Thessalonians 5:19, where Paul writes “Do not grieve the Spirit.” If we do not want to grieve the Spirit, we need to hearts and minds that are surrendered to the Spirit. “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks,” Jesus taught. If we want to build people up with encouraging and formative communication, as we learned in the previous post, we need hearts that desire to communicate in that positive way. We need self-control, especially when the situations are tense, or when we feel hurt, or threatened.
We pray “God transform my heart, heal my heart, change my mind, so that it a self-control, kind, loving, peaceful, gentle, humble, teachable, non-manipulative, non-coercive, non-intimidating, heart and mind.”
Some people might need advanced training to change their pattern of thinking and talking. Anger management. Counseling. Even medication.
What I’m suggesting is that when it comes to discipleship to Jesus, it is not okay to simply say, “That’s just the way I am.”
Sometimes people say, “I am who I am. Deal with it,” as a kind of pride in their personality. They give the impression that they are standing up for themselves. They are not going to be trampled on.
But being trampled on is one thing, and it is wrong. Being a jerk is another thing. We can be kind, using building-up speech, and at the same time not allow people to trample on us.
Is there someone you need to apologize to? Someone with whom you have allowed yourself to freely tear down? What can you do to ask forgiveness? What change do you need to make.
Photo by Alexander Ugolkov on Unsplash
Engaging Scripture 