It is simply human nature that the people in a church family will not always agree with one another.
Hear what Paul has to say about that in 1 Thessalonians 5, verses 14–15, “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.”
It seems to me that what Paul suggests is particularly difficult for American Christians in 2025. Why? Our culture has gradually shifted to the extremes. We see this especially in cultural and political ideology. Our society once had a large middle group, where the majority of people, though they might have leaned one way or the other ideologically, they chose to have a more foundational perspective of welcoming different ideas. Even if in the end they disagreed with one another in the middle, they were willing to compromise, work together, have unity for the greater good.
But in the last 20-30 years, there has been a movement toward the polar opposites. To be considered a true proponent of an ideological side, you must hold to the extremes of that side. That extreme view includes viewing the other side as the enemy. “We are 100% right, and they are 100% wrong. In fact, they are not only 100% wrong, they are dangerous, enemies of the state, and thus we are justified in doing whatever it takes to marginalize them, disenfranchise them, and silence them.”
The outrage culture that is present in our society has also influenced Christians. We Christians have been discipled by our culture. We have been taught by our cultural leaders, and especially our political leaders, that it is not only okay, it is normal to be outraged at those who think differently from us.
Therefore, when we disagree in the church, we can be tempted to express ourselves with harsh outrage. I have seen nationally-known pastors and theologians express themselves with that kind of harsh bitterness. Just listen to the podcast The Rise & Fall of Mars Hill to see what I mean. That outrage, that lack of graciousness, that lack of gentleness and kindness is contrary to the Fruit of the Spirit. We Christians should be peaceable inside the church family and outside the church family. We should be gentle, humble, kind, patient, and loving in our own families, in our communities, and in our church family.
The practice of the Fruit of the Spirit gets tested, however, because there are all sorts of things we might disagree about. We are all normal human beings with opinions. Because we have been discipled by our culture to have strong opinions, it has become commonplace for people in a church family to have strong opinions and express them with outrage.
What media is appropriate? What substances are appropriate to put in our bodies? How should we spend money? How many or which church programs and events should the church family be at, and how often? As a pastor, that last one is often on my mind. Too often.
Whether we express it very loudly and publicly, or we express it very subtly and quietly, outrage is outrage.
But when we are discipled by Jesus, we do not give in to outrage culture. Yes, we can have opinions, but we share them for the purpose of living in peace with each other, and we will do so with the expectation of unity and expression ourselves with the Fruit of the Spirit of love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.
When we are discipled by Jesus, we do not need to win. We welcome other opinions, always keeping the door open that our opinion might be wrong. That we might need a shift in our perspective or understanding. It is not wrong to have a strong opinion about something so long as we admit to ourselves, truly admit to ourselves and others, that we are open and willing to change our mind. That is a peaceful, humble, teachable attitude.
Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash
Engaging Scripture 