When the great king David falls apart – 2 Samuel 16—20, Part 3

Have you ever had the unsettling experience of having someone you look up to fall apart? Maybe it is a parent, grandparent or mentor, and they behave in a way that calls into question everything you respected about them. In the saga of David’s dysfunctional family, it is David who falls apart.

In the previous post, we learned that war is in the air. Father versus son. David versus Absalom. Absalom has usurped the throne from David, and now Absalom has control of the Israelite army. David is on the run. The impending conflict is shaping up to be a massacre, with Absalom destroying his father once and for all.

In today’s post, we study 2 Samuel 18, and we learn that David’s army is not small.  He appoints commanders over thousands and hundreds.  Where did they come from? It seems, as mentioned in the previous post, that Absalom’s advisor Ahithophel was correct. Absalom should have attacked David immediately, while David was weak. But Absalom deferred to Hushai advice. Remember Hushai? Hushai is David’s secret agent inside Absalom’s inner circle. Hushai advises Absalom to hold off his attack until Absalom can gather an overwhelming army, otherwise, when he attacks David, David’s loyal men, small in number though they be, are seasoned soldiers who will inflict damage on Absalom’s men, and Absalom’s army will fall apart. Absalom agrees, waits, and that gives David time to gather an army. A big army.

In verses 2-4, David wants to go out and fight, but he is an old man now, and his commanders do not allow him.  He relents, asking them to be gentle with his son, Absalom. At this point, therefore, David no longer sounds like a man who is running for his life. David sounds utterly confident in the outcome of the battle. 

Now David’s story and Absalom’s story come together in an eruption.  Like one of our own Civil War battles, it was super bloody.  20,000 died that day.  And David was victorious. 

In verse 9 we read that in the battle, David’s men are chasing Absalom who is riding a mule, fleeing for his life.  In the rush of it all, Absalom accidentally rode too close to low hanging tree branches and got stuck, while his mule kept going out from under him, leaving Absalom, but hanging midair, unable to wrench himself free. This gives David’s men enough time to surround Absalom. Remember David’s words to his commanders? “Treat Absalom gently.”

One of David’s men reported the capture to Joab, David’s military commander.  Joab defied David’s wishes to treat Absalom gently, thrusting three javelins into Absalom’s heart, while Absalom was still alive hanging there.  Not only is Absalom now dead, but also Absalom’s army flees and disbands.  The war is over, but the drama is not.

Messengers run to tell David the news, and when he learns that Absalom is dead, he starts crying out and weeping, saying, “My son, my son, Absalom, if only I had died instead of you!” 

Here we see David the emotional parent.  The war is over, but David has lost his son.  Even when our children are difficult, even when they cause us pain, we still don’t want them to come to harm, and we can think we’d rather the harm come to us.  David is just wrecked.

The story continues in chapter 19 as David’s army commander, Joab, learns that David is weeping and mourning for Absalom, and Joab can’t believe it.  Why is David weeping for Absalom?  Remember last week when we learned how Absalom murdered Amnon, the first born son of David?  Then here we learned that Absalom schemed and stole the throne from David?  Then here Absalom slept with David’s concubines?  Then as we saw today, Absalom went to war with David?  Joab can’t believe the King is behaving this way against so awful a person as Absalom, regardless that Absalom is David’s son.  Joab believes that David’s great victory is going to be for naught if David keeps this up.  So Joab boldly says to David, in 2 Samuel 19, verses 5-7,

“Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. 6 You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. 7 Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come on you from your youth till now.”

Woah.  Imagine talking to the king like that.  What if David has a bad reaction?  David is, after all, really grieving his son Absalom, and remember who killed Absalom?  Joab!  Now Joab is telling David to knock it off?  Is Joab courageous?  Is he reckless?  Is he recklessly courageous?   More to the point, is Joab right?  Is David’s loud wailing for his son going to have negative ramifications to progress of trying to regain the throne?   

How will David react?  How would you react?  What would you do when you are in leadership or have a job, but in your personal life it feels like things are falling apart?   Are you sad and discouraged?  Look at verse 8.

“So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When the men were told, “The king is sitting in the gateway,” they all came before him. Meanwhile, the Israelites had fled to their homes.”

It turns out that Joab was right in confronting David.  By hiding away and weeping and mourning loudly, David could easily have been perceived as very discouraging and ungrateful toward his soldiers.  Apparently, he was weeping so loudly that he couldn’t hide it, and word was getting out.  It could seem as though the king was unhinged and out of his mind.  His soldiers could easily think that David is unfit for leadership.  So by coming out to the gate, David was showing gratitude and support of his men.  As they paraded before him, I suspect he was thanking and encouraging them. 

After this, David seems to have a change of disposition, which is good timing because the nation is still reeling from its brief but disastrous civil war.  The brokenness in the royal family.  20,000 soldiers killed.   Yes, David has survived, but is he weakened in the hearts and minds of the people?  Can David recover from this?  How will he respond?

We find out in the next post.

Photo by Gadiel Lazcano on Unsplash