Women are not responsible for the way people view women’s bodies – 2 Samuel 11, Part 3

Editor’s Note: This week we welcome guest blogger, Emily Marks. Emily is an adult and community educator. She and her husband Sean live in Lancaster, PA, with their dog Corvus. I learned so much from her sermon on 2 Samuel 11-12! I’m excited for you to read these blog posts.

David is smart. As we learned in the previous post on 2 Samuel 11, David just found out that the woman he committed adultery with, Bathsheba, is pregnant. But David doesn’t panic, at least not that we see in the Scriptures; he does some quick math.

He figures out that if he can bring Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah back from the front lines where Uriah has been fighting with the military, and send him home to his wife who hasn’t seen in a while and hasn’t been sexual with because of the Jewish purity laws, it’s a pretty good bet that they’ll be intimate. Then when Bathsheba’s pregnancy becomes evident, it very well could be Uriah’s baby, and no one will be the wiser.

I’m not happy with David right now, but you got to give it to the man; he’s resourceful. But in this decision David further represents an underlying issue that has been a problem for this entire story: David is abusing his power.

Now don’t get me wrong: we see leaders, rulers, and politicians abuse their power all the time, and sometimes the tiniest abuses aren’t that big of a deal. Like the CEO can be late to work, but none of us can. That’s annoying and a little elitist, but it’s not the end of the world, right?

What’s going on with David in this case is very different, and it’s different for two reasons.

The first reason is that David is not just a little late for work: David is making decisions that affect people’s entire lives, marriages, and careers. He calls Uriah back from the front lines: not just anyone can do that! Uriah is a soldier in the middle of war. It’s not like Uriah requested a day off for a little R&R, right? Soldiers don’t just get to come back from war. David takes Uriah away from his career and responsibility to king and country because of David’s selfishness and personal problems.

But here’s the other reason this isn’t working: this isn’t power that David earned on his own accord or by conquering a nation or by being born into a royal line. Let’s go back many weeks ago: God handpicked David. David was “declared” king when he couldn’t even technically be the king because Saul was in power. The power that David has been gifted to him by God. God who is perfect and has the best plans for us. And with that gifting comes responsibility: responsibility to live a godly life as an example, responsibility to lead God’s people in a way that would keep them safe and following God’s commands.

God definitely did not entrust this leadership role to David to give in to his sexual desires in a sinful way and then cover it up by using his leadership over the army for his benefit.

But the first time David abused his power in this story was not when he called Uriah back from war; no, it was earlier than that. It all starts with Bathsheba.

Let’s talk about her: I want to talk about Bathsheba because I want to honor her. Bathsheba has gotten a tough rap from Biblical scholars and pastors through the years. And here’s why:

Have you ever heard  a sermon about this passage that asks questions like this:

“Well what about Bathsheba’s responsibility?”

“Bathsheba knew the king was watching her when she was bathing and she led King David into lust.”

“Why was Bathsheba visible when she was bathing?”

“It takes two to tango: Bathsheba should never have agreed to sleep with a man who was not her husband.”

You’ve probably heard some of those questions and comments before.

Let me start by saying I don’t think it’s wrong to ask questions and I don’t even think all of those questions I just posed are invalid.

But remember earlier when I said I had some unlearning to do with regards to this passage? It starts here.

This passage has historically been used in the church to shame Bathsheba for her body and use of sexual power over David. Every so often teachers have admitted that David was lusting and that was inappropriate, but all too frequently they are quick to defend David’s actions, pointing out that if Bathsheba hadn’t been naked in front of him, he wouldn’t have sinned.

Let me give you an example, and this is a direct quote from a modern pastor who I recently heard speak about this passage. He said, “What business did Bathsheba have being naked on that roof? She lives close to the palace, so she knew the king would see her. Bathsheba used her body to tempt the king, the man who was after God’s own heart, and she got what she wanted: she led him astray from God.”

Let’s think about the consequences that teachings like that have: telling women that their bodies are weapons that can be used to turn men “after God’s own heart” away from God’s calling on their life. That places immense responsibility on the shoulders of all women—but particularly our young women—to ensure that they do not “lead men” away from the calling that God has on their lives, as though these women are inherently responsible for the feelings of someone else.

What about the responsibility of others for their own thoughts and own temptations? What about the calling placed on women’s lives? Who’s looking out for them?

Again I’m inviting you to consider the consequences of teachings like this. I’ll tell you one of the consequences. I’m not saying this is what will always happen, but I think it’s important. I internalized some of these—and other—negative lessons about my body that were supposedly “taught from Scripture.”

It has taken me about three and a half years of working with my therapist to unlearn some of the core lessons that I have been taught in the church about myself and my body as a woman, one of the biggest being that while I have a body and I do have a responsibility towards my body and what I do with it, I am not responsible for the way other people perceive my body.

And this lesson directly applies back to Bathsheba. Let’s do a little unlearning, shall we?

Many teachers and pastors have taught this passage and questioned why Bathsheba was on a roof bathing close to the palace where she “knew” the king would see her, but when we re-read the Biblical passage, we actually see that the roof is referring to the king’s vantage point, not Bathsheba’s location. David was on the roof and saw Bathsheba bathing. For all we know, Bathsheba could have been hidden or within the privacy of her home, but David saw her from his higher point of view.

Furthermore, the Scripture points out that David got up in the middle of the night and went to the roof. It was dark outside. So the fact that David saw Bathsheba was probably a coincidence. If anything, Bathsheba could have been trying to use the dark of the night to hide her body while she bathed. There is nothing in the biblical text to suggest that Bathsheba was attempting to get the king’s sexual attention or luring him in any way. The biblical passage doesn’t actually tell us where Bathsheba was located, so it is reasonable to conclude that the biblical writers aren’t concerned with Bathsheba’s location but instead are more concerned with the fact that David saw her. David saw a woman bathing, so he had the responsibility to look away. Just like I am not responsible for the way that other people perceive my body, Bathsheba is not responsible for David seeing her body and choosing to continue to stare at it.

David had the responsibility to recognize the temptation in his own life and walk the other way. But instead, David chooses to walk in the direction of his temptation: arguably he runs towards it because he sends messengers to find out about Bathsheba’s situation. He pursues his temptation, which ultimately leads to sin. And it is not Bathsheba’s fault that David actively chose to continue to pursue her even though he knew it was sinful.

Even further than that, if we read this story in isolation, it wouldn’t be hard to come to these conclusions about Bathsheba “fault” in this story, but Scripture itself disproves the theory that Bathsheba was being sexually inappropriate with King David.

What I’m getting at requires me to jump ahead in the story a little bit, but that’s because context matters. In chapter 12, a prophet Nathan, sent by God, speaks to David about his sin. Nathan tells a parable, a story, to demonstrate to David his wrong doing. In the story, Bathsheba’s character is a lamb.

We’ve heard this imagery before.

Lambs are universally understood to be a theological symbol for innocence, sacrifice, and sometimes a lack of power.

God had Nathan assign this label to Bathsheba. God doesn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t mince words. God is clearly communicating to David through Nathan that Bathsheba is innocent. In fact, at the end of the parable, the lamb is slaughtered. Now Bathsheba doesn’t die in the real story, but the symbolism of the dead lamb must not be overlooked: Bathsheba has lost all of her rights and autonomy at the hands of someone else. And that someone is the king, David.

And this is where David’s continued abuse of power comes into play.

Yes, it does take “two to tango” to use my earlier phrase. Affairs happen between two people. But affairs happen between two consenting persons.

Now hear me clearly, I am in no way claiming that David raped Bathsheba. Some pastors and teachers have claimed that, but we don’t see that language in Scripture. I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.

But here is what’s happening: even if Bathsheba was a 100% willing participant in this sexual encounter, there is an imbalance of power in this sexual relationship.

And we don’t even need to leave the confines of our own culture to know this is true.

There is a reason that bosses can’t sleep with their subordinates.

There is a reason that teachers can’t sleep with their students, even if those students are adults.

There is a reason that pastors and therapists shouldn’t be entering sexual relationships with their patients or congregation members.

We recognize as a culture that when someone has more power over someone in a relationship, there can be negative consequences.

Bathsheba’s story is no different: again, even if she wanted to enter a sexual relationship with the king, she wouldn’t be safe in that relationship.

What if he was sexually violent and hurt her? Who could she complain to? He’s the king. Who’s going to believe her?

She finds herself pregnant. David could have had her killed when she told him, then his secret would never get out. Now David didn’t do that, thank goodness, but he could have.

And even worse, what if she really didn’t want to enter this sexual relationship: how could she say no?

He’s the king, and specifically the king that God put in power. Can you say no to the king that God put in power? Would you be disobeying God?

Her husband’s fate as a soldier is decided by this man.

Her life is governed by this man; he could have her killed if she refused.

Whatever form of the situation Bathsheba finds herself in, she was lacking power in this sexual situation, which makes this sexual abuse, sexual exploitation on King David’s part because he is holding all of the power and has the possibility of lording it over and using it to his advantage.

It is clear both from the power implications and God’s choice of imagery through Nathan of Bathsheba as the lamb, Bathsheba is blameless in this situation. So much blame and shame has been shouldered by Bathsheba through decades of church history, and she doesn’t deserve it. She is a victim.

Yet we’ve used this passage in the church to teach young people that bodies are dangerous and that women use their bodies as weapons.

Yet we’ve used this passage to teach our children that certain groups of them don’t have responsibilities because of temptation and that other groups of them have full responsibility, even for other people’s actions and sins.

Let’s stop using the Bible to shame specifically women but also men about their bodies.

God has no problem with bodies in this story.

As revealed to David (and to us) by his messenger Nathan, God is upset with sin and abuses of power, not people’s bodies and the natural functions that they have.

If you remember nothing else about this post, I want you to remember this: we as the church have the responsibility to stop teaching the Bible in ways that it was not intended to be taught. Teaching these lessons that do not actually align with the biblical text, do not reflect God’s heart for his children and creation, and do not promote human flourishing. We have the power to stop misinformation, to end toxic purity culture. We have the opportunity and responsibility to stop using biblical texts to give power to some groups and shame and restriction to others.

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash