Why embarrassment is necessary for…Studying Scripture together, Part 1

This past week in my class, I had a slightly embarrassing moment. 

I teach adjunct for a local Bible College.  This semester I’m teaching the Gospels, the Life of Jesus.  In class this past week, we were talking about Matthew 9, verses 9-13.  I love this story.  I’m very familiar with this story. But this story about Jesus is what led to my embarrassing moment. Here’s the story:

“As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. ‘Follow me,’ he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ On hearing this, Jesus said, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.”  For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.’”

Jesus is always an example for us, and in this case he shows us how he would handle interaction with people who in that culture were considered sinful.  In class, then, I asked the students how we might apply Jesus’ example to our lives, and a student raised their hand. 

The student pointed out that in the story, after Jesus invites the tax collector Matthew to be his disciple, Jesus goes to a dinner party at Matthew’s house.  Matthew, the student said, would have paid for the party through the income he made as a tax collector. 

That fact might sound innocuous. Of course Matthew paid for the party from his employment. But there’s more to the story, when you consider a cultural reality was a work. Tax collectors were hated by their fellow Jews because the tax collectors not only collected taxes for the Romans, but also the tax collectors got rich skimming money off the tax collection.  That means that tax collectors got rich off the backs of their fellow Jews. 

Matthew, therefore, paid for his dinner party through ill-gotten gain, and there is Jesus at the party, eating and drinking.  The student pointed out something fascinating: Jesus was benefitting from Matthew’s sinful lifestyle.

I stood in front of class thinking to myself, “How did I not see that before?”  I had to admit in front of the class, “That’s a profound point, I never thought of that.”  I was slightly embarrassed that, I, their professor learned from a student.

In my heart and mind, I felt that flush of heat come over me that so often happens to humans when we get embarrassed. As I thanked the student for their insight, my mind was also swirling with thoughts and emotions, “I bet these students’ full-time professors would have seen that point. The students are going to see that I’m just an adjunct who has no business being a professor. I’m a fraud.”

Admittedly, my heart and mind can go a bit wild with self-doubt and fear. Most of what I was thinking and feeling inwardly is false.

But it was good to be in that awkward position and struggle with myself. I needed that.  While I was embarrassed, I was grateful for the insight I learned and the reminder that we always need to learn from one another.

As we talk about studying the Bible this week on the blog, what happened in that class is something that I believe should happen a whole lot more.  To me, for sure.  And to all disciples of Jesus. 

But first, what is studying the Bible? I’m concerned that question might come across as having an obvious answer. Yet, if we are going to talk about studying the Bible, we need to begin by seeking an answer that question. We’ll do so in the next post.

Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash