I recently had lunch with a friend who has been going through a deeply difficult season of life for the past two years. It all started when his wife shocked him by separating from him, and likely turning his two teenaged sons against him. She cut off communication, and they eventually moved out. She refused to talk with anyone from his family or from their church family. His oldest son only responded to text messages when the son needed some kind of financial or legal matter cared for. My friend hasn’t heard a peep from his younger son, now 18 yrs old, since the day his wife separated from him.
I asked my friend how his church family has responded to him. He said they have so thoroughly and loving cared for him. They are with him. For the entire two-year process, which included not only separation but ultimately divorce, his church family has stuck by him.
We need each other in our church families to care for one another. This is what Paul writes about in his famous passage about the body of Christ in 1 Corinthians 12. He writes this,
“As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”
Caring involves the word “with.” Suffering with. Rejoicing with. Being with.
I hope you have experienced that kind of selfless, gracious care in your church family. I also hope you have generously given that selfless, gracious care. My family and I are feeling the care as our granddaughter goes through her heart journey. Our son and daughter-in-law are feeling the care as young parents journeying with their baby girl. It has been wonderful to see friends, family and church family stand with them, support them, caring for them.
Continue to look around you church family and open your heart, mind and lives to care for one another selflessly, to be with them. Most times being with someone does not require that we need to solve their problems or have any answers for them. Instead, being with them means be present with them, available to listen, expressing care and concern, praying with them.
Years ago I caused a terrible vehicle accident that led to a person in the other vehicle passing away. On the night of the accident, numerous people visited me, to be with me. First my family. Then school friends and church friends, as I was 17 years old at the time. A few days later I received a phone call from my aunt. I picked up the phone, said “Hello,” and she burst into tears. That might sound odd, given that I was the one in an awful situation. Why was she crying? She composed herself and said that she wanted to call sooner, but wasn’t sure what to say. She was expressing her sorrow for waiting, feeling like she should have called immediately. But I didn’t see it that way. I didn’t then and still now don’t think she needed to apologize, because she did call, she shared her presence with me over the phone. She was with me, and it was deeply meaningful and encouraging.
Who do you need to care for by being with them?
Photo by Erika Giraud on Unsplash
Engaging Scripture 