My wife and I recently watched the television series, New Amsterdam. It’s about a public hospital in New York City. The main character Max Goodwin is the medical director, and he asks a question repeatedly in nearly every episode of the series. (He might ask it in every episode! I didn’t keep track.). His question, which I’ll reveal below, is something that I believe could be quite powerful in a church family that is caring for one another.
In the previous posts here and here, I’ve quoted Bonhoeffer at length because his point is so foundational to being a church that truly cares for one another. Bonhoeffer’s point is this: If we are to care for one another in a church family, we need to see each other as we really are, and be thankful for who we really are. Christian brotherly love begins with an honest, grateful perspective on ourselves and our church family. Christian care says, “I know my church family is not perfect, I know I am not perfect, and I imperfectly give myself to love those in my church family though they are not perfect and they will love imperfectly too.”
Being thankful for our real church family does not mean we ignore ways to improve, and it does not mean we avoid holding one another accountable. A significant part of caring for one another is caring enough to speak the truth in love to one another. But that caring accountability must first be based in thankful realism.
This posture of thankful realism about each other in the church family will therefore be soaked in grace. Just as we have received God’s bountiful grace in Jesus’s birth, life, death and resurrection to make new life possible, we in turn share that grace with others. Caring for one another in the church is awash with grace.
I really appreciate Christian author Jerry Bridges’ quote, “Our worsts days are never beyond the reach of God’s grace, and our best days are never beyond the need of God’s grace.” We are grace-receivers and grace-givers. When others in your church family tick you off, annoy you, bother you, or when they behave poorly, irresponsibly, sinfully, they need us to have a posture of thankful realism toward them, awash with grace. A gracious posture will enable us to care for them, to minister to them in their need.
Just think of Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan. The Jews and Samaritans deeply hated one another. It would have been unsettling and awkward, then, for those Jews listening to Jesus tell the story, when he put the dreaded Samaritan in the role of the one who cared for the beaten down Jew, while the Jew’s fellow countrymen walked by ignoring the hurting man. That’s grace. Overcoming our prejudices, overcoming our disgust, overcoming our misgivings, to care for one another. Some people are easy to care for. Some are not. Some will test just how gracious we really are.
Thus, a gracious thankful realism requires a selfless posture, as Paul writes in Philippians 2:3-5, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”
When we nurture that selfless posture toward others, then we can care for them. They are the focus. Not us. We consider them. We listen to them. We act an important question, just like Doctor Max on the TV show New Amsterdam.
“How can I help?” It’s a wonderful question. You might not be able to help in every situation. That’s okay. We do well to know our limitations, and say “No” when we can’t help. But the question, “How can I help?” has that selfless posture to it. “How can I help?” directs our heart and mind outward, toward the other person. That outward gaze is essential to care for one another in the church family.
Photo by Etienne Boulanger on Unsplash
Engaging Scripture 